If you're a victim of bullying, please understand that things often do get better. During my time at Bishop Fenwick, I was teased for liking Star Trek but being a geek has become a lot cooler over the years and this month I found myself attending Boston Comic Con with hoards of Trekkies, some dressed in character but all having fun. I never could have imagined this in high school.
By their very nature, bullies fight dirty, using anything as ammunition to put you down: your weight, clothes, hair style, hobbies, lack of athletic ability, sexuality but this doesn't mean their cruel insults are valid. A while ago, a photo of a sad girl named Lexie was circulating on the internet because she was teased for wearing glasses. How ridiculous it is to be singled out for something so trivial. Glasses for adults are sometimes seen as being sexy or distinguished if anyone bothers to notice them at all. Don't believe the petty taunts of your bullies because they don't know what they are talking about. Thankfully, Lexie's post received support from over 6 million people. The internet that allows cyberbullying also lets us connect with others in similar situations. You may find that you're not so alone after all.
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| Lexie's story can be found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fSSr06oms9c |
The irony is, it's the outcasts in school who are often more interesting, sensitive and creative while the “popular kids” tend to be boring. Some of the most successful people once suffered from bullying like Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling and Apple Inc. co-founder Steve Jobs. Image how different the world would be had they given up on their dreams. Never sell out who you are just to fit in because you will lose the very things that make you unique.
Jeremiah 1:5 says, "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you." This verse is so comforting because it reminds me that God is close. He gave each of us special qualities that have the potential to do so much good. Some of us might change the world in big ways but most of us get the chance to make the world a better place in our own small ways. As difficult as it may be, try to see the big picture.
School is a strangely intense environment with a whole host of unwritten rules but it only lasts for a handful of years. Many of the pressures to “fit in” simply disappear when you graduate. A better future might seem unthinkable when you're being bullied but it could be right around the corner. We never know what happy accidents will drop into our lives. A few years ago, I unexpectedly wound up hosting a radio show and it turned out to be a very positive and rewarding experience. This never would have happened had I decided to end it all in high school.
Suicide is such an evil thing because it robs the world of God's plan for you. A deacon at my former parish once said, “God doesn't give you any problems you can't handle.” This statement is too simplistic because if it were true then no one would end their lives. Sometimes life does get overwhelming and we feel that everything is spinning out of control. Bullies use their free will to be cruel while others choose to sit on the sidelines instead of helping us out. The feeling of hurt can be staggering but please, don't give up!
Throughout my years of being bullied in school, I managed to hold onto hope even if it was a very small piece. Hope allows us to carry on even when we just can't see the road ahead. Steal moments of joy by treasuring the little things that make life bearable. Two of my much-needed escapes back then were listening to music and building models. Realize that you are loved even if it isn't so obvious. Suicide is doubly cruel because of the terrible heartache and guilt it places on the survivors. Try telling a loved-one about your heavy burdens. It just might lift some weight off your soul. Volunteer. By making a difference in the lives of others, you might just learn some good things about yourself. Steer clear from those who pressure you with bad influences like drugs. You don't need friends like that. Forgive your bullies. They may never see the errors of their ways but letting go of resentment can actually weaken their hold on you. Forgive yourself. It's not your fault that you are being teased. Lastly, realize this blog only represents my views. If you can't rid yourself of suicidal thoughts, there are professionals out there who may be able to offer assistance and you can even call a suicide hotline. Asking for help isn't a sign of weakness...it's an act of courage.
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