Another Canary In The Coal Mine

During one class at Bishop Fenwick High School, we were visited by a guest speaker who worked with troubled youth.  He started off his presentation by asking us why miners brought canaries into the mine.  My classmates were befuddled so I answered, “Since a canary is small, it has a fast heartbeat so if there are any poisonous gases released in the mine, it would die first.”  The speaker added when the tiny bird died, it was a signal for the miners to leave because conditions inside the mine were quickly becoming lethal for them.  He then explained how children were society's version of the canary in a coal mine and when we regularly heard news of kids falling victim to violence, it signaled serious problems within our civilization that demanded immediate attention.

The speaker's presentation stayed with me all these years and I was reminded of it a few days ago after reading about the Aug. 11th suicide of thirteen year old Daniel Fitzpatrick.  The seventh grader attended Holy Angels Catholic Academy in Brooklyn, New York and was constantly bullied.  When he asked teachers for help, only one tried to do something about it.  Others simply did nothing.  The misery was so overwhelming, Daniel went into his attic and ended his life.

Daniel Fitzpatrick, 13  /  source: Facebook

His distraught parents said the school didn't do enough to stop the bulling.  His sister alleged one teacher even belittled Daniel by calling him lazy.  Some have claimed the situation was more complex and suggested the child's home life might have contributed to poor grades and angry outbursts.  An attorney for his parents said these accusations were an attempt to discredit the family.

In a statement, Bishop Nicholas DiMarzio said, “While there are many unanswered questions, it is indisputable that this is an unspeakable tragedy.  We must always remain vigilant and attentive to the emotional needs of the children in our care.”  I doubt such words offer any sense of comfort to Daniel's parents.

Weeks before his suicide, Daniel wrote down his feelings in a letter which was later released to the press by his father.  “My old friends changed.  They didn't talk to me.  They didn't even like me,”  Daniel wrote.  “I wanted to get out.  I begged and pleaded.”  It appears Holy Angels Catholic Academy failed to live up to Bishop DiMarzio's high-sounding words.

Judging from my own experiences, most people seem to be clueless when it comes to helping those who are suffering emotionally.  Falling grades could indicate a student is being bullied but so many of my teachers merely wrote “Not working to full potential” on my report card and moved on.  I once wrote a letter to my pastor that described my sense of loneliness saying, “I feel so very lost, empty, and depressed.”  Despite his lofty sermons on lost sheep, he never spoke a word to me about it.  During some of my darkest hours, far too many of my friends appeared dismissive or just weren't there.

People must think suicide is so far-fetched a thing, they simply take another person's anguish for granted.  Instead of meaningful support they'll say, “Oh, you'll get over it.”  “Smile.  It's not the end of the world.”  We play Russian roulette by brushing aside someone's faint cry for help and it's only after a person commits suicide that loved ones suddenly see the missed clues.

   

So many canaries have been lost.

When I was younger, I used to think the problem of bullying could be solved through discipline and a sweeping cultural shift but now I'm not so sure.  Despite zero tolerance polices, diversity programs and anti-bullying legislation, more and more canaries are dying in the coal mine.  A quick scan of the headlines reveals story after story of children succumbing to suicide.  Growing up, we were able to leave our bullies at the school yard but today's teens must contend with the 24/7 cycle of cyberbullying.  At times, society seems more vicious than ever and it has me wondering if some bullies are hardwired.

A few people have decided to use the Fitzpatrick family's tragedy to indict Catholic education in general or push certain political agendas.  As someone who was teased in both private and public school systems, I find such grandstanding to be very insensitive because it takes away from the human side of this story.  All of us are special with unique gifts to bring to the world but another canary was lost this month and now we will never know what lives young Daniel might have touched.