Get What You Pay For

This image doesn't say much.

Recently, I bumped into an older Catholic acquaintance at my favorite Chinese restaurant and we started talking about relationships and dating within the Church.  She wondered where people like her belonged because she had been married with kids for many years but her husband cheated on her and got a divorce.  I told her my desire to find a good Catholic girl but mentioned how difficult it was for older singles like me.  Not having been a part of the dating scene for decades, she was surprised to hear that.  A few days later, she e-mailed me a link to a website called CatholicDatingForFree.com.

The site describes itself as a place for wholesome Catholic dating and they claim “thousands have formed wonderful friendships, relationships, engagements and marriages!”  They say it's constantly monitored for decency in an effort to maintain high moral standards.  After spending a great deal of time going through the list of eligible singles and then breaking that list down geographically to see who was in the neighborhood, I thought the site was quite the train wreck.  Where to begin?

Profile photos:  This seems to be an issue with many of the women on the site.  (Men could have trouble with this too but for obvious reasons, I didn't check them out.)

Many members don't even bother to supply a profile photo so all we see is the graphic of a silhouetted human figure.  Did attempting to upload an image give them computer trouble or do they have something to hide?

Some women figured it would be best to wear large sunglasses.  This is a step up from no photo available but barely.  If the eyes are a window to your soul, then why have you closed the blinds?  This isn't the witness protection program.

There are women who decide to pose with their best friend.  This invites awkwardness.  Now a potential suitor has to figure out which one is you.  What if a guy likes the girl to the left with dark hair but it turns out you are actually the blond on the right?

If you've never had kids before, posing with your infant niece or nephew isn't a good idea either.  It might confuse people or imply a certain amount of desperation.

Sideways photos.  Again, we seem to be having trouble with basic computer skills.  Perhaps the site's format to upload images is confusing but why would anyone leave an image up like that after seeing the mistake?

Okay, maybe the format is hard to understand because one of the eligible women was actually a man.  While filling out the questionnaire, maybe he got I AM A WOMAN confused with I AM INTERESTED IN WOMEN.

A few females decided to go for sex appeal with tight-fitting or scantily clad outfits.  Some even accentuated certain “attributes” with sexually suggestive poses.  Isn't this supposed to be a Catholic dating website?

Descriptions:  To the website's credit, there is a section that asks what parish you belong to and the frequency of your Mass attendance but not much else is specifically geared toward the faith.  Did the creators of CatholicDatingForFree.com just slap the religion's name on a generic dating website platform?

Some profiles suffer from grammatical errors and I have to assume this is due to a language barrier.  Reading a description like, “I am pleased to be in loving relationship who is strong and looking for committed partner” just sends up the red flags.

To my surprise, a large number of women on the site are divorced and / or have kids.  Again, isn't this supposed to be a Catholic dating website?  Some might be widows and others (like my acquaintance at the Chinese restaurant) could have had the rug pulled out from under them by a cheating spouse but it was enough to make me wonder, “What is being taught in Sunday school these days?”

It's clear a lot of Catholics are looking for love...the divorced...the devout...the lapsed...the single parent and the never been married.  Judging by my own hopes and desires however, I'm not sure all of these groups share the same expectations.  Checking out CatholicDatingForFree.com  was disappointing because it felt like far too many people were playing in the same sandbox unsupervised.