Only When They Want Something

My church fills up with elderly worshipers pretty quickly so if you want to sit in your usual pew, you have to show up about twenty minutes before the Mass begins.  Yesterday, my mother and I arrived a little late so we had to sit a few rows back and closer to the middle.  As usual, I scanned the room to see if there were any people my age in the sea of old people.  Off to the right was a well dressed young lady but she was so far away, I couldn't tell how old she was.  As the Mass progressed, I would occasionally glance over to see if she was still there.  After communion, our pastor commented on what a good thing it was to have younger people at Mass and then he called the young lady up to the lectern to speak about the subject.

As it turned out, the young woman was with FOCUS, the Fellowship of Catholic University Students.  She said young adults were turning away from God in record numbers and FOCUS aimed to change that by providing fellowship and evangelization on college campuses.  She explained 23 was a critical age because that's when young people tended to give up on religion.  According to her, it was imperative parishioners like us supported FOCUS with financial commitments so they could continue to spread the faith to young minds.  I knew there was a catch to having a beautiful young woman show up to Mass!

At the end of services, she stood at the back of the church to talk with parishioners.  Again, I felt abandoned by the Church because there's never any help for people who aged out of the young adult category.  The next day, I checked out the website for FOCUS.  Their tag line was, “You are made for greatness.”  It made me think about my college days.  In the beginning, I was filled with such hope and felt God was calling me to do something wonderful.  By graduation, I was disillusioned and lost.  The website explained how FOCUS was on college campuses across the country adding, “...so chances are, we're on yours.”  This statement is somewhat inaccurate because in all of Massachusetts, only 4 colleges had FOCUS ministries.  We certainly didn't have them at my alma mater.

The website also boasted they were helping young people find the path God had for them and this inspired countless religious vocations and holy, healthy marriages.  They asked us to help them reach the hearts and minds of this generation.  Once again, people my age were being written off.  Too late to help us, I suppose.

The woman from FOCUS told us young people often give up their faith during their college years.  Despite my many set backs in college, I still had some faith left inside me.  It only diminished later on in life when my pleas for help were largely ignored by several priests who did absolutely nothing to provide fellowship and guidance to this lost sheep.  As my mother and I left church, part of me felt like talking to this woman about my struggles but then I figured it wasn't worth the trouble.  She was there to get money for her ministry, not to hear about my struggle to find purpose in life.

The whole incident reminded me of a Mass several years ago at my former parish.  My mother and I sat in our usual pew off to the right and a beautiful girl who I had never seen before walked up the isle.  She turned to me and smiled as she passed by.  All during Mass, I wondered who she was.  Just before the services had ended, our priest called a young man to the lectern to discuss the plight of Palestinian Christians living in the occupied territories.  The girl who had smiled at me was part of this group and they were at our church to sell trinkets in order to raise funds for their charity.  My mother and I went downstairs to see what they had to offer.  The girl looked at me again and said in a quiet voice, “We meet again.”  I pretended not to hear her because she was being friendly just to get money out of me.  I later joked to my mother, “The prospects are so bad at St. Mary's, they have to import attractive women from halfway around the world.”  In both situations, these females had caught my eye but women like that seem to visit my church only when they want something.