A Very Blah Christmas

Thanks to the Covid-19 lock-down, 2020 saw many stir crazy people decorate early for Christmas with some cities and towns being decked out for the holidays by October. This year, something seemed to be a bit off.  I noticed a few dark houses in my neighborhood that would normally be lit with Christmas decorations. A nearby apartment complex that usually saw some tenants put trees in their windows was also curiously devoid of any holiday lights.  There were still those houses that went all out with elaborate Christmas displays, but it was the occasional pocket of darkness along neighborhood streets that had me wondering if people were too emotionally exhausted to fully embrace the Christmas spirit.  When I pointed this phenomenon out to an acquaintance from the nearby town of Marblehead, at first he said there were still fantastic light displays from the houses located along the coast but then he did admit to seeing near-dark neighborhoods in his travels too.

A few of my friends told me they had no desire to decorate for Christmas and they found themselves struggling to finish putting up a tree before the week of Dec. 25th.  Perhaps it was because 2021 seemed like nothing more than a continuation of the miserable year that 2020 was.

While I had made an effort to decorate for Christmas in 2020, I just wasn't in the mood this year.  As the first two weeks of December passed by in a blur, our house was in danger of not being decorated at all.  For 50 years, my family put red Christmas lights in the windows and some of those original bulbs which were purchased a long time ago at now defunct department stores like Zayre's and Rich's still worked.  Well, I didn't want to break a half century of tradition so I mustered up enough strength to drag those lights out of the basement once again.

In years past, my mother and I set up two Christmas trees since she had so many beautiful ornaments to put on display.  In 2019, we decorated the small table top tree that usually graced our back porch because her chronic aches and pains were becoming much worse.  We used that same small tree again in 2020 and despite a hectic work schedule, I still found time to put up most of the Christmas decorations around the house.

This year was definitely different.  With so little free time and not much motivation to put up Christmas decorations, we had to settle for the tiny ceramic light up tree that was usually placed in an upper hallway corner.  We didn't do much else for Christmas aside from a front door wreath and a handful of small ornaments around the house.  For the first time ever, we didn't have a nativity scene, advent wreath or stockings.  It was a very blah Christmas all around and my lack of enthusiasm for what should have been a joyous and holy day was troubling.

The extremely busy work schedule that prevented me from blogging more often was taking its toll. Our bosses were doing very well financially because of the pandemic but 2021 saw my hours get cut and my yearly pay go down.  While other companies were offering higher wages and incentives to attract new employees and retain old ones, our company bellyached about razor-thin profit margins.  They may have congratulated us for a job well done but they weren't too enthusiastic about giving us a much-needed cost of living increase. It's no wonder many people who felt underpaid and overworked simply walked off the job this year.

My company often talks about striking a balance between your work and home life but I found myself spending the past year not having time to put up decorations for several holidays including Easter, Halloween and Thanksgiving.  So much for a healthy work / life balance.

As the final hour of 2021 slips away forever, I say good riddance but this sentiment is tempered by misgivings about 2022.  Many of us are still anxious about the uncertainty of these unprecedented times.  Inflation is on the rise. Shortages continue.  Quality connections with other people seem lacking and the internet is a poor substitute.  There's an uptick in the number of Covid cases again with some communities reinstating mask mandates while others consider doing so.  This new normal has left many of us far too weary and holidays like Christmas just don't feel the same anymore.

Where Is Christmas?

As a kid, Christmas was such a magical time.  My married friends tell me some of that magic gets rekindled each year as they watch their own children open presents on Christmas morning.  Being single during the holidays usually brings feelings of isolation that I just can't shake.

When I first attended St. Mary's in Beverly with my mother and brother, Christmas Masses seemed special because the church was still very new to us but as the years passed, I started to feel out of place.  Seeing the pews filled with so many old people and families certainly didn't help.  When my brother moved away, it was just my mother and me.  Sometimes it was just me.

At one point, our pastor decided to reintroduce midnight Mass after a long absence from the schedule.  I wanted to see if it would attract a younger crowd but since my mother didn't want to stay up late, I had to go by myself.  Sitting alone in a pew didn't exactly fill me with the Christmas spirit.  That first midnight Mass was well-attended and over the years, its popularity only increased.  Soon I found myself surrounded by old people and families again.

The music during Christmas Mass featured a choir of senior citizens, organ and trumpet but someone got the bright idea to add a kettle drum into the mix.  When it first thundered, we all flinched out of fear.  Every year since, it's taken unsuspecting once-a-year Catholics by surprise.  Our pastor said this music was so beautiful, it was probably what heaven sounded like.  I found it to be more annoying than heaven-like.  Having senior citizens belt out the line “Glory to God” over and over again just wasn't my cup of tea but at St. Mary's, people tended to see things one way.  

Our pastor decided to replace the church’s perfectly adequate nativity scene with a much more expensive, hand-crafted one from Italy.  A lot of money was raised to acquire these figurines but they did nothing to increase my faith.  While looking them over, I wondered why on one of the holiest days of the year, my faith felt so weak.

Despite all the decorations, music and well-meaning sermons, I wasn't getting much out of Christmas Mass anymore but it was far better for some at my church to ignore people like me because our very existence invalidated their rosy view of the parish's sense of community.  No room at the inn for lost sheep.

I still go to church hoping the Holy Spirit will set my soul on fire somehow but for the past few years, Christmas seems like just another day.  Before the start of this year's Christmas Mass at my current parish, I spotted a man in the hallway holding a shepherd’s crook.  Apparently, our priests asked two people to dress up as Mary and Joseph with the woman holding a real baby.  During Mass, the little one started to cry so Mary and Joseph had to slink back into the hallway.  I give these priests an A for effort but such a display did little to inspire me.

At least it wasn't as tacky as a zip line Jesus.  A former pastor once told the congregation how one church had set up a wire that went from the choir loft all the way down to the crèche that was placed just in front of the altar.  During Christmas Mass, they would send the baby Jesus speeding down the wire to his manger.  Gimmicks like this seem more like comedy relief than spiritual inspiration.

When I look at the Christmas tree in the house, I think of how much coming down those stairs with my brother to open presents meant to me.  This year, my brother called at 1 PM on Christmas Day to invite us to his house for a Christmas meal.  My mother and I were nothing more than an afterthought to him and I suspect the phone call was just a courtesy.  Given the long and messy drive up to his place, there was no way we could have made it.

My mother and I settled down for a quite dinner by ourselves but I was plagued by a tinge of sadness.  Something wonderful has been lost and I find myself asking more than ever, “Where is Christmas?”

It's Still Christmas

The way mainstream society celebrates Christmas is pretty ridiculous.  Hype for the holiday starts as early as October and only increases in intensity as the weeks pass.  Commercials bombard you with the latest deals while radio stations play nothing but seasonal music.  Up go the holiday light displays with some neighbors trying to outdo each other.  Christmas cartoons, claymation specials and seasonal movies permeate television.  People work themselves up into a frenzy shopping for that perfect gift as advertisements remind us to cash in on those last minute savings.  We spend so much time worrying about the holiday, there's little time to savor it.

When December 25th finally arrives, many of us spend it with family and loved-ones but the next day, the Christmas music ends, the seasonal programming goes away and some decide to shut off or take down their lights just like that.  How mainstream society celebrates Christmas has me asking, "That's it?"  Retailers, unsatisfied with all the money they've made immediately promote after-Christmas sales even though they tended to avoid using the c-word before the 25th.  People go back to their old ways and with very little trace of the season left, it leaves me feeling empty.

For Catholics, the Christmas season is supposed to last until the feast of the Baptism of the Lord which falls on the Sunday following the Epiphany.  Many other denominations recognize the 12 days of Christmas.  My parents always made sure to keep the lights on through January 6th, long after my neighbors shut theirs off.  One acquaintance who isn't too religious actually leaves her Christmas lights on into February to brighten her spirits because she thinks winter is dark and dreary enough.  The new priests at my small church placed two trees, garland, banners and a large nativity scene around the altar and it really put people in the mood.  Such decorations can get out of hand but if done right, they remind us of the warmth that should be in our hearts around this time of year.

As a kid, the joy of Christmas lingered well beyond December 25th because the only other time during the year my brother and I got presents was on our birthdays.  I was grateful for these new toys and played with them on the living room floor for days.  When I visited my nieces and nephew this year they seemed to be much more savvy about gift-giving than we were.  One of the first things out of their mouths was, "Where's our presents?" To my amazement, their grandfather gave each of them a 100 dollar bill.  Using an online calculator, I adjusted that sum to see its value during my childhood years and it came out to be almost 30 dollars.  I can tell you this much, none of my relatives ever gave me anything close to that amount for Christmas.  After all the presents were opened, my nieces talked about using the money they just received to buy what they didn't get under the tree. 

For mainstream society, Christmas is one big "wham, bam, thank you ma'am" and I suspect the people who rush to take down their lights and get back to normal don't focus too much on the holiday's religious meaning.  As the first few days of January pass into time, it's a pleasant surprise to find houses with their lights still up.  While riding my bike earlier this week, I came across a lighted creche in front of someone's home.  Here was this tender scene amid the darkness and cold that surrounded me.  In that moment, it somehow made my emptiness disappear.  Imagine what Christmas would be like if we kept the kindness and warmth of the season in our hearts well beyond December 25th.

See You Next Year

A typical crowd for Christmas.

The small church I attend is almost entirely made up of elderly parishioners.  A few teenagers and children show up with their parents from time to time but it's not very  consistent.  During this year's Christmas vigil, I noticed a few females close to my age sitting in the pews.  (This is something any red-blooded male who is extremely lonely would spot right away!)  I don't recall seeing these women before and all I could think was, “I will never see them again.”

On Christmas, churches see huge increases in attendance from Catholics who rarely go to Mass.  Some might have sentimental attachments to a particular parish while others consider going to church during the holiday a time honored family tradition.  Whatever the reason, many priests use the occasion to deliver a softer sermon that's welcoming and affirming.  At my former parish, it was felt calling out lapsed Catholics would do very little to convince them to return to Mass the following Sunday.  My pastor at the time said if he could reach just one person in the pews then his uplifting sermon would have been worthwhile.

Only 17% of Catholics in the Archdiocese actually go to church on a weekly basis so it's a safe bet most of those unfamiliar faces at Christmas won't be back.  A more appropriate seasonal greeting after Mass might be, “See you next year.”  Some have said it takes courage for these lapsed Catholics to step inside a building that potentially makes them feel uncomfortable.  Judging them would be wrong because we don't know the reasons for their long absence.  However, as someone who attends Mass every week, seeing an unusually packed church at Christmas just doesn't sit right with me.

Let's say you had a garden and spent months carefully growing fruit for a homemade pie that you baked at harvest time.  How would you feel if someone just waltzed up and helped themselves to half of that pie?  Perhaps this is not the best analogy because houses of worship aren't pies but it's the regular parishioners who keep churches running with their weekly contributions of time and money.  Some volunteer to sing in the choir, make minor repairs, buy flowers, take up collections, etc.  A lot of giving goes into bringing lapsed Catholics that holiday moment.

For the regular church goer, Christmas can bring frustration especially when you have to squeeze into an already crowded pew or worse, stand for the entire Mass.  Those inoffensive sermons meant to appeal to a wider audience tend to be bland.  People unfamiliar with church sometimes chat up a storm during the Mass.  One year, a pair of teenage girls sitting behind me were so bored they spent much of the time text messaging each other.  It was incredibly distracting although many of us would gladly “suffer” the problems of an overcrowded church every week.

A few people on my hometown's Facebook group said how beautiful my former parish was and even though they had not been to Mass in years, they still considered it their spiritual home.  In today's day and age, any church can be closed due to poor attendance and financial woes.  Lapsed Catholics might find themselves with nowhere to go on Christmas if their favorite house of worship is sold off and slated for the wrecking ball.

This could happen to your favorite church if you don't support it.   Image: Tony Atkin

Investing so little time into your faith has real-world consequences.  Once or twice a year parishioners miss out on contributing to many worthy causes.  If there's a natural disaster, refugee crisis, or missionary asking for money, a second collection is usually taken up during Mass but since most Catholics stay at home, the amount of relief the needy receive is not as great as it could be.  To make matters worse, parishes don't see a dime of the increased giving on Christmas because the collection goes to fund retired priests throughout the Archdiocese.

By staying home on Sunday, lapsed Catholics also sell themselves short because their unique talents could strengthen our churches.  They understand better than anyone why people don't attend Mass regularly so perhaps their perspectives could be used create more inviting places of worship.  Drawing from a larger pool of people might help reinvigorate parishes that are stale.  (Of course, this hinges on having a pastor who is open to such ideas.)

The parable of the workers in the vineyard tells us the first can be last and the last can be first so it's important for regular parishioners to avoid a country club mentality where some think they have preferred member status.  Seeing filled pews during Christmas reminds me how empty they can be the rest of the year.

During the Christmas vigil, our priest listed several reasons why some hearts might not be filled with joy but he added that God was always looking to welcome us back.  In a bit of wishful thinking, he mentioned the regular Mass times at the end of the service.  I hope some of those unfamiliar faces at Christmas do return next week because it's sad knowing so many of my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ won't be back for a long time.

Over 6,000 And Counting

As kids, waiting for Christmas to arrive seemed like an eternity.  To help count the days, my brother and I took turns opening the little paper doors on an advent calendar that was hung in the kitchen.  Behind each door was a simple seasonal drawing but it filled us with such a sense of wonder.  The final door always revealed a depiction of the baby Jesus but our minds were too focused on opening presents to dwell on its meaning for very long.

Before going to bed on Dec. 24th, we would take one last look at the empty Christmas tree knowing our long wait was almost over.  More often than not, my brother and I would wake up around 5 AM and sneak downstairs to see all the presents that miraculously appeared under the tree.  After checking out the name tags on a few gifts, we crept back into bed eagerly awaiting the new day's dawn.  At the time, we didn't fully appreciate all that our parents did to make the holiday so very special for us.

Back then, Transformers were very popular toys and recently, I looked some of them up on the internet.  My research opened a bottomless can of worms because in addition to all the original toys we used to play with, there were limited edition models, variants from foreign markets, reissues, redesigns, and special mail order only versions that I never knew existed.  Even unnamed Transformers appearing in the 1980s cartoon for only a few seconds have been turned into toys complete with character names and backstories.  It had me wondering how many individual Transformers were out there.  I couldn't find a definitive number but a few websites said over 6,000 and counting.  Such a display of materialism made my heart sink.

Okay, now you're just making stuff up.

I may have enjoyed playing with these toys as a kid, but trying to purchase them for Christmas was a huge burden for my parents.  Between Star Wars, G.I. Joe, and Transformers, the toy companies were placing a lot of unrealistic desires into our little minds.  Do parents risk seeing disappointment in their kids' faces if a toy they ask for is left off of Santa's list?  What about all the joy they'll express when that favorite toy is under the tree?  Clearly, there's a lot of psychology that goes into the commercialization of Christmas but the bottom line is always the same:  How do we make money off the holiday?

When my mother was a child, Christmases were much more humble.  Getting an orange in your stocking was a real treat since the fruit wasn't widely available at the time.  Everyone survived not having armies of plastic action figures or the latest talking doll because they were never told they needed them in the first place.  My uncle once said, “We were poor but we never felt poor.”  Happiness or disappointment wasn't as closely tied to the buying and selling of stuff as it is now.

Yet even back then, some worried about the increasing commercialism starting to overtake the true meaning of the holiday.  Stan Freberg's Green Chri$tma$ may have been released in 1958, but its message is more relevant than ever.  Along those same lines was Ode To Christmas by local television personality Chuck Kraemer.  The feature which aired during the 1980s on WCVB was a lengthy list of brand names and products creatively strung together but ending with the question, “Good Lord.  What have we done to Christmas?”

A song so accurate, it was banned for many years.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZ44t3UDjGs

If it wasn't for A Charlie Brown Christmas, I don't think I'd hear mainstream society utter one word about the holiday's true meaning.  The season is filled with news reports about shopping and that “must have” gadget of the year.  There's the obligatory interview with a shopping mall representative and when sales are down, headlines decry the “retail woes” plaguing the country.  If Charlie Brown was trying to warn us about the commercialization of Christmas, I don't think many people got the message.  Now we see larger and larger holiday light displays that have nothing to do with Jesus.  Good grief!

Oh, no.  My own neighbor gone commercial.  (There's even an inflatable Snoopy at far left)

As Christians we are told to travel light because possessions have a tendency to weigh our souls down especially if we let things get out of hand.  A few people are actually trying to acquire all 6,000+ Transformers and their collections take up entire rooms.  I look at the two boxes of Transformers that are stored in my basement and feel manipulated.  When Hasbro wanted to sell us a whole new line of Transformers, they decided to kill off many beloved older characters in 1986's The Transformers: The Movie.  The film's unexpected violence upset a lot children including me and I stopped collecting the toys shortly thereafter.  If they had no qualms about shattering a kid's fantasy world, what else didn't they care about?

It's odd living in a society where the economy would collapse if everyone started celebrating Christmas in humble but meaningful ways.  Christ's teachings don't sell 6,000+ Transformers but if we are to untangle commercialism from the true meaning of the holiday, then maybe we should ask ourselves if all these material possessions give us lasting happiness.  Today's much desired Christmas gifts just might end up as long-forgotten clutter in your basement.

The War On Christmas Starts With You

Recently, a lengthy debate erupted on my hometown's Facebook page regarding the phrase: Happy Holidays.  Some said the greeting was meant to be more inclusive while others felt it was part of an effort to water down the real meaning of Christmas.

A few people refused to believe a “war on Christmas” existed and blamed bitter Christians for stirring up trouble.  Some asserted Christmas wasn't even a religious holiday.  (If Christmas isn't a religious holiday then why do many of us go to church to celebrate it?)  Against my better judgment, I decided to join the conversation.

I explained the “war on Christmas” controversy was started by Christians who felt the true meaning of their holiday was being twisted in an effort to remove any trace of Jesus.  One lady responded by listing her many grievances with Christianity.  As I defended my faith, she said I was uninformed and called my religion a lie and a fairy tale.

How quickly the truth surfaced.  This debate wasn't about a simple holiday greeting.  It was about bashing Christianity and pushing people like me into the closet.  Another woman chimed in and her statements only proved this point.  She asked:

“Why would you care what anyone else thinks about Christmas?  If you believe it's a holy day to celebrate the birth of Jesus then celebrate.  Why involve everyone else?”

As she continued to comment, the answer to her initial question was revealed:

“At this point Christmas isn't about Jesus, it's about buying stuff and getting stuff.  It's about who can brainwash shoppers into buying their goods.”

Why do I care what anyone else thinks of Christmas?  Her shallow view of the holiday is why.  Christmas celebrates the birth of a man who shunned materialism and convinced his followers to do the same but mainstream society uses the season to “brainwash shoppers into buying their goods.”  That should give any Christian cause for concern.

Does this real ad for a surf shop offend you?

If we commemorated Martin Luther King Day by shopping for bargains while at the same time never mentioning a thing about civil rights, I think more than a few people would be upset.  Yet I can go the entire Christmas season without hearing the name Jesus outside of Mass.  Many will work themselves into a frenzy shopping for presents sometimes waiting in line for hours (or even days) to get the best deals.  It's: “If you have two coats, give one to somebody who has none.” Not: “Buy one coat, get the second one free.”

The woman on Facebook added:

“True Christians should shun the commercialism and celebrate it quietly without buying things and involving non-Christians.”

She's only half right because in her statement we see the other problem with people who deride Christians for wanting to acknowledge the true meaning of Christmas.  Those calling for tolerance, inclusion and respect often don't extend the offer to Christianity.  Instead a visceral hatred for the faith emerges usually from “recovering” Christians.  It's interesting to note that no one on Facebook seemed to have a problem with how Islam and Judaism celebrate their religious holidays.  We don't see a movement to secularize Hanukkah and rename the menorahs found on public property Holiday Candelabras.  Rainbow flags freely hang from government buildings and anyone who is offended by this is called a hatemonger.  Yet Christians are told to worship quietly...to not impose their beliefs on anyone.

One of the cornerstones of Christianity is LIVING your faith...during the holidays and in everyday life.  Jesus warns us not to light a lamp and then hide it under a basket but many Christians do just that by being lukewarm and refusing to confront the materialism that permeates the Christmas season.  I'm not saying we need to rid the world of Santa, Christmas trees and gift-giving but these things should be put into a proper perspective.

There are those who under the guise of tolerance and inclusion would like to see Christianity disappear.  If you think there's no such thing as a war on Christmas, you're sorely mistaken.  Isn't it time we stopped being afraid to celebrate our faith?