The Wheat From The Chaff

In these times of increased isolation, having strong connections with the people in my life has become very important. Unfortunately, the pandemic has separated the wheat from the chaff as far as my friends and acquaintances are concerned.

During the Covid-19 lock downs of 2020, having in-person get-togethers became difficult to impossible but this was completely understandable given some of the situations people faced. One friend couldn't leave his mother's apartment at all because it was located in an old age complex and he was living with her illegally. Another friend cut back on all social interactions because her long-time boyfriend had immunity issues.

You'd think with the prevalence of social media and smart phones, maintaining friendships would be fairly easy but some of the people in my life have simply disappeared without a trace. Others chime in only sporadically and it has me questioning how strong our bonds were in the first place.

The Wheat: often use social media to keep in touch with others which keeps those strong connections intact.

The Chaff: often use social media to post trivial or inflammatory content but they can't be bothered sending the simplest of personal messages.

One of my friends is an extremely busy freelancer but she still finds time to send the occasional e-mail or Facebook post every now and then and she always responds to any message I send even if it takes her several days to get back to me.

Unfortunately, far too many of my other friends think sending no response to the messages they receive is perfectly acceptable. Before the pandemic, one particular acquaintance would sometimes invite me to hang out with him at a few of the bars in his neighborhood. During these cordial visits we talked about our hopes, fears and defeats without judgment and we both enjoyed each other's company. A few months into the Covid lock downs, I decided to send him a quick message on Facebook just to let him know he was in my thoughts and that I hoped he was okay. There was nothing but silence. This really bothered me so after a while I sent along a few cricket emojis. Still no response even though the small chat icon indicated that he read my messages. It makes me wonder how hard sending a thumbs up emoji, a “Thanks”, or a “Too busy to talk now” response really is? Two years later, he randomly sent me a video on old trains in Europe. Sad to say, I've had better conversations with internet trolls than I've had with some of my friends.

The Wheat: also pick up the phone and call every now and then. One good friend who lives on the other side of the country talks to me almost every week during his ride home from work.  Our conversations can be very deep at times but they're usually filled with a lot of humor.

The Chaff: are difficult to get a hold of. I'll usually get their voice mail and after I leave a message, they never seem to get back to me. There's also a good chance that automated female voice will say, “The mailbox is full...goodbye.”

The Wheat: make what you have to say a priority.  Our conversations are warm and friendly and I often feel energized when we get off the phone.

The Chaff: are always distracted. Sometimes they're watching a movie or TV show and won't pause it. Worse still is when another person is in the background and they're trying to have two conversions at the same time. If I'm lucky enough to call them when they aren't busy, their smart phone's connection might be terrible or the signal drops...several times. I usually get a busy signal when I call them back because they haven't realized we've been disconnected. Or, the phone they are using has a low battery and they have to cut the conversation short.

As we entered 2021 and some restrictions were loosened, getting together with people no longer seemed like an impossibility and I was hoping to meet up with some of my friends and acquaintances in the real word.

The Wheat: make every effort to plan in-person get-togethers even if it takes a while to pin down a date. My freelancer friend was so busy with projects and deadlines, she just couldn't find the time to hang out with me one-on-one. However, she kept me apprised of some of the interesting art exhibits in her neighborhood and we agreed to see each other there even if it was only for a quick visit.

The Chaff: ignore invitations to hang out even if I add an extra incentive like offering to treat them to dinner. They seldom initiate meet ups and after a while, the one-sided nature of the relationship is revealed because I seem to be doing all the work to maintain the friendship.

Interestingly enough, very few of my friends have access to an automobile so when we try to get together, transportation becomes an issue.

The Wheat: appreciate the fact that I've driven many miles just to see them. When my freelancer friend finally suggested getting together one-on-one for the first time in two years, she told me that some of her friends had asked if they could tag along to the art gallery we planned to visit.  She shot that idea down because she didn't want me to feel like the odd man out. I thought it was very considerate of her and we went on to have a wonderful time just catching up without any interruptions or the need to explain our personal jokes to people I didn't know.

The Chaff: use me for my transportation. After planning to go out to breakfast with one friend, he conveniently asked if I could also drive him to work so he wouldn't have to take the bus. In December of 2021, he insisted we meet up a few towns over so he could give me a Christmas present. I was so tired from work I asked if we could postpone it. He wouldn't take no for an answer so I gave in, drove out to see him and then wound up taking him back to his house despite my lack of sleep. Turns out, he had been delivering presents to his friends that day and simply wanted to get it over with.  In the past, this same friend has also invited his friends to hang out with us even though he knows I don't get along with them.

The Wheat: respect your boundaries.

The Chaff: cross them.

People often complain that the pandemic has significantly increased their feelings of loneliness and anxiety. It's gotten so bad, some moms have organized group screaming sessions to alleviate their tensions. These uncertain times have certainly made me reevaluate my relationships with others and right now I'd say there are only two people in my life who are really good friends. While others drag me down and drain me of my energy, they make me feel free in a climate of mutual respect. If all we have in this world is each other then I wonder why so many friends and acquaintances just aren't there anymore.

A Very Blah Christmas

Thanks to the Covid-19 lock-down, 2020 saw many stir crazy people decorate early for Christmas with some cities and towns being decked out for the holidays by October. This year, something seemed to be a bit off.  I noticed a few dark houses in my neighborhood that would normally be lit with Christmas decorations. A nearby apartment complex that usually saw some tenants put trees in their windows was also curiously devoid of any holiday lights.  There were still those houses that went all out with elaborate Christmas displays, but it was the occasional pocket of darkness along neighborhood streets that had me wondering if people were too emotionally exhausted to fully embrace the Christmas spirit.  When I pointed this phenomenon out to an acquaintance from the nearby town of Marblehead, at first he said there were still fantastic light displays from the houses located along the coast but then he did admit to seeing near-dark neighborhoods in his travels too.

A few of my friends told me they had no desire to decorate for Christmas and they found themselves struggling to finish putting up a tree before the week of Dec. 25th.  Perhaps it was because 2021 seemed like nothing more than a continuation of the miserable year that 2020 was.

While I had made an effort to decorate for Christmas in 2020, I just wasn't in the mood this year.  As the first two weeks of December passed by in a blur, our house was in danger of not being decorated at all.  For 50 years, my family put red Christmas lights in the windows and some of those original bulbs which were purchased a long time ago at now defunct department stores like Zayre's and Rich's still worked.  Well, I didn't want to break a half century of tradition so I mustered up enough strength to drag those lights out of the basement once again.

In years past, my mother and I set up two Christmas trees since she had so many beautiful ornaments to put on display.  In 2019, we decorated the small table top tree that usually graced our back porch because her chronic aches and pains were becoming much worse.  We used that same small tree again in 2020 and despite a hectic work schedule, I still found time to put up most of the Christmas decorations around the house.

This year was definitely different.  With so little free time and not much motivation to put up Christmas decorations, we had to settle for the tiny ceramic light up tree that was usually placed in an upper hallway corner.  We didn't do much else for Christmas aside from a front door wreath and a handful of small ornaments around the house.  For the first time ever, we didn't have a nativity scene, advent wreath or stockings.  It was a very blah Christmas all around and my lack of enthusiasm for what should have been a joyous and holy day was troubling.

The extremely busy work schedule that prevented me from blogging more often was taking its toll. Our bosses were doing very well financially because of the pandemic but 2021 saw my hours get cut and my yearly pay go down.  While other companies were offering higher wages and incentives to attract new employees and retain old ones, our company bellyached about razor-thin profit margins.  They may have congratulated us for a job well done but they weren't too enthusiastic about giving us a much-needed cost of living increase. It's no wonder many people who felt underpaid and overworked simply walked off the job this year.

My company often talks about striking a balance between your work and home life but I found myself spending the past year not having time to put up decorations for several holidays including Easter, Halloween and Thanksgiving.  So much for a healthy work / life balance.

As the final hour of 2021 slips away forever, I say good riddance but this sentiment is tempered by misgivings about 2022.  Many of us are still anxious about the uncertainty of these unprecedented times.  Inflation is on the rise. Shortages continue.  Quality connections with other people seem lacking and the internet is a poor substitute.  There's an uptick in the number of Covid cases again with some communities reinstating mask mandates while others consider doing so.  This new normal has left many of us far too weary and holidays like Christmas just don't feel the same anymore.

Just Take It!

When churches in the Boston Archdiocese reopened in the midst of the pandemic last year, several safety protocols were in place.  Seating capacity was limited to just a fraction of what it used to be and in our parish, every other pew was roped off with blue masking tape.  To ensure social distancing, the remaining pews were marked with Xs every six feet using that same blue tape.  Hand shaking was out along with ushers passing the collection basket.  Instead parishioners were encouraged to place their weekly donations into a small bin at the church's entrance.  Hand sanitizer stations were placed at every doorway and parishioners had to make reservations in order to attend Mass.  At times, our temperatures were taken with a hand-held thermometer before we entered the building but other times we just walked right in after our names were checked off a list.  
 
One of the most dramatic changes during Mass was how communion was distributed.  Instead of forming a line and approaching the altar, parishioners now remained seated while the priest and a few Eucharistic ministers delivered the host to everyone by walking across those empty pews.  And here is where something of a controversy begins.
 
Some people feel that it's a lot safer in these times if parishioners wishing to receive communion simply hold out their hands so the priest can drop the host into waiting palms without having to touch anyone.  A few archdioceses have even gone so far as to ban communion on the tongue and this ruling has been upheld by the Vatican.  
 
In our church, I think the priests just assumed everyone would follow this guideline because when one parishioner wanted to have the host placed on his tongue during that first "post-Covid lockdown" Mass of 2020, my pastor looked very confused and wondered what to do next.  He then told the parishioner that he would oblige but only after everyone else had received communion on the hand first.  After giving this person communion, our pastor returned to the altar to liberally spray his hands down with sanitizer.  

Over the next few weeks, anyone who wanted communion on the tongue had to wait until everyone else received it by hand.  Then at some point, our pastor changed this practice.  Now communion would be given to everyone right then and there and if someone wanted it placed on their tongue, the priest or Eucharistic minister would do so immediately.  Then they would return to the altar, spray their hands with hand sanitizer, and continue to distribute the host as usual.  Two problems quickly arose from this new procedure, however.
 
Some Masses were attended by several people who wanted to receive communion on the tongue so instead of delivering the hosts to everyone in a timely manner, the priest or Eucharistic minister had to stop, walk all the way back to the altar and spray their hands down before returning to the pews.  Suddenly the well-oiled machine of socially distant worshiping ground to a halt.  While I was glad to see people attend Mass, this start / stop way of of handing out communion got pretty annoying fast.  There are times when I find myself yelling in my mind at these worshipers, “Just take it!”
 
The other problem occurred when more than one person in the same group wanted communion on the tongue.  The priest or Eucharistic minister would grab a host, place it on the tongue of one parishioner then reach back into the chalice for another host without sanitizing his hand!  Such a sight had me hoping and praying that these people didn't have Covid-19 because more often than not when the priest or Eucharistic minster placed a host on one person's tongue, he would reach in for another host but pick up two by mistake.  The second host was then allowed to fall back into the chalice to be given to some unsuspecting worshiper six feet away.
 
In a May 7, 2020 article from Church Militant on the subject, Father Jeffrey Robideau defends communion on the tongue during the pandemic remarking, "Where I did give Communion in the hand, I touched each and every hand.  With the tongue, I very rarely have any contact as described above. So you tell me which one is safer."  To that I say maybe this priest has fat fingers because I've never felt anyone accidentally bump into my hand when delivering the Eucharist.  It does seem pretty difficult to pluck out a single host from the chalice without touching other wafers, though.

The debate on the preferred way to receive communion is a pretty old one with some Catholics getting pretty riled up about it.  Some say communion on the hand isn't as reverent and sometimes these arguments quickly devolve into claims that Vatican II is the cause for most of the Church's problems.  I've had a few priests on either side of this debate lecture us from the pulpit but in reality most clergy tend not to care one way or another...just as long as you're going to Mass in the first place.

There are still many unknowns regarding Covid-19 so I think it's important that everyone errs on the side of caution.  The fact that some Catholics stubbornly refuse to do so tells me the Church has bigger problems to deal with than the pandemic.

A Taste of Entitlement

Depending on what state you live in, unemployment compensation is typically 45 percent of your weekly paycheck.  When the government mandated shelter in place orders in March of this year, many people suddenly found themselves unable to go to work.  The passage of the CARES Act gave people on unemployment an extra 600 dollars a week to make up the difference for what they'd usually make in their paychecks.  Why 600 dollars?  It was deemed the quickest way to boost the vast majority of unemployment benefits to 100 percent since calculating everyone's individual weekly pay would have taken too long.  As a result of this “enhanced” unemployment, some people have wound up making a lot more money than they'd normally earn in a week.
 
I haven't been so lucky.  Since my job was deemed essential by the government, work has never been busier.  The last seven months have been a blur of 50 plus hour work weeks, 6 days a week.  I come home exhausted, eat, sleep and then go back to work with only a few hours to myself in between.  Certainly no time to blog.  In fact, things have been so busy some of the Easter decorations are still up in the house!  For a short time, my employer grudgingly gave us a “thank you” bonus with our paychecks but it didn't amount to much.  Most of us felt this was a slap in the face considering we have put ourselves in harm's way for the company.
 
The extra 600 dollars of enhanced unemployment lasted until the end of July and around that time I started to see some workers return to their old jobs.  A driver who subcontracts with us said he enjoyed his “paid vacation” and was able to finish a lot of projects around his house.  One of my favorite waitresses told me she made way more money while unemployed.  Now that her restaurant has reopened, she's not making as much as she did before the pandemic because social distancing measures have reduced the number of tables she can wait on.  I told her, “I hope you saved some of that extra 600 dollars.”
 
Financial experts suggest putting a portion of your weekly paycheck into an emergency fund but just how much money you need to set aside depends on who you talk to.  Some say it should cover your expenses for the next 3 to 6 months while others suggest it should last an entire year.  When I mentioned the importance of having an emergency fund, a coworker laughed and said he lived paycheck to paycheck “like most Americans do.”  Another quipped, “One year?  I don't have enough for one week.”  Americans are not very good savers.  Perhaps it's because we live in a society with so many ways to frivolously spend our hard-earned money.

We often hear people say the poor should pull themselves up by their bootstraps but it's amazing how that advice doesn't seem to apply when financial difficulties hit close to home.  Suddenly the ones complaining about high taxes and handouts have no trouble taking extra money from the government.  I don't know anyone who returned their $1,200 stimulus check saying, “No thanks.”  Most recipients probably consider it payback for all the high taxes that take a big chunk out of their weekly earnings...especially if they are single with no dependents.

I do wonder how our country is going to pay for all of this, though.  As politicians debate yet another aid package any talk of balanced budgets seems like a distant memory.  Remember the national debt clock?  It's amazing how Congress can come up with trillions of dollars for handouts just like that.  If American citizens can't control their finances, I guess we shouldn't expect our leaders to either.

Despite significantly reduced municipal services and the closure of city hall, my hometown's mayor was all too happy to announce no city employees would be laid off during the pandemic.  He also made no offer to reduce his very generous six figure salary despite the fact that many residents are now struggling to pay their property taxes. He did talk about raising taxes, however.

Conservatives say we should not be giving away benefits that are so high because it incentivizes people not to work.  Liberals claim there aren't enough jobs for everyone so extra financial assistance is needed.  Well, there are still jobs out there for those who want to work.  Our company has been frantically trying to fill positions for the better part of a year now without much success.  The few new hires we do get tend to be lazy bottom feeders.  One coworker who liked calling in sick whenever there was something fun going on in his life now gets a two week “paid vacation” for reporting flu-like symptoms thanks to Covid-19 self-quarantine regulations.  Meanwhile, us poor suckers who are plagued by a strong work ethic must make due.
 
For all the recent talk of poverty and racial injustice, fairly decent jobs remain vacant.  The only thing my bosses care about is getting the work done, not gender or skin color.  A person coming from nothing could go really far at my workplace but breaking a life-long culture of entitlement is not going to be easy especially when you see average people fall so quickly under its spell.

Lessons From the Past

We aren't even three months into sheltering in place due to the Covid-19 virus and already people are starting to become unhinged.  Someone recently relayed her experience at the grocery store on my hometown's community Facebook page.  In front of her a man and his young son were waiting in line at the registers with a full shopping cart.  He moved up before being called to do so and the cashier told him to wait.  The man flipped out and started yelling saying this whole thing was b.s.  After dropping several f-bombs, he grabbed his kid and stormed out of the store leaving his groceries behind.

A few days later, a gentleman sarcastically complained to this Facebook group about being chastised for walking in the wrong direction down the grocery store's one-way aisle by saying he must have flunked following supermarket arrows in high school.  (As a youth, he probably missed watching the old Sesame Street bit that taught children about one way signs!)

The sign said ONE WAY: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x1C5r3r7zms

During a trip to get take out at a favorite restaurant, a woman working for Door Dash tried entering through the clearly-marked exit door.  I refused to let her in and told her everyone had to use the main entrance.  Even though those doors had prominent signage advising everyone to wear face masks, she just walked right in without a mask and started blabbing away to someone in line. 

Then you have all the people who don't wear their masks properly because they have a hard time breathing.  What seems to be lost to these ignoramuses is a sense of urgency.  The Covid-19 virus spreads so quickly because many infected people do not exhibit any signs they have it.  You can't say you're not contagious because you feel fine!  With the scientific community still trying to understand how to fight this virus, we all need to do our part to minimize its spread.  Unfortunately, some people are so self-centered, they just don't get it.  

I've read some pretty foolish comments from social media: “Quarantining healthy people is tyranny.”  “We should just let the virus run it's course and then be done with it.”  “It's mostly killing the old and the weak.”  “Shutting the country down is a mistake.  The cure is worse than the disease.”  To be blunt, this virus doesn't care about your job loss.  It doesn't care how inconvenienced you are waiting in long lines at the grocery store.  It doesn't care about projected time tables or targeted reopenings.  If we aren't careful, a second surge in the infection rate is likely.

For now, social distancing is one of the only things we have in our arsenal to fight the virus.  If Covid-19 was allowed to run it's course as some have suggested, we may develop a natural immunity to it but many more people would die.  When the black plague finally subsided about 30 to 60 percent of Europe's population had perished.  Smallpox, on the other hand was vanquished because of a vaccine and mass inoculations.  Now which strategy would you choose?

Sometimes I wonder how people would behave if Covid-19 had a 90 percent mortality rate.  Then I think about how this country pulled together during World War II.  If you think shopping at the grocery store is an inconvenience now, try using a ration book in 1942.  (And if you misused that ration book, you faced a 10k fine and / or ten years in prison!)  Families were limited in what they could buy and shortages were common.  My mother tells me beef went to the fighting soldiers overseas so her family had to purchase horse meat.  Butter was scarce so margarine with a yellow dye packet was used instead.  Housewives were told to save the excess fat from cooking so it could be used to make bombs.  Humorous ads during the war years instructed ladies to “bring their fat cans” down to their local butcher.  People were encouraged to save everything from the foil in gum wrappers to large pieces of scrap metal.  Victory gardens were commonplace.  Blackout drills required everyone to do their part and blackout wardens made sure you turned off that light.  Women who never worked in a factory before suddenly found themselves signing up to assemble tanks, airplanes and ships.  Gasoline was rationed and special stickers affixed to car windshields determined just how much fuel a person could buy.  The national speed limit was reduced to 35 miles per hour and pleasure driving was discouraged.  If the government wanted something from you back then, they didn't ask...they just took it.  When my mother was in grammar school, men from the government dressed in hats and trench coats came into class and fingerprinted everyone.  She was never told why but as an adult she found out this was done so their bodies could be identified if the Germans had bombed the school.  The war touched all levels of society and everyone was expected to rise to the occasion.  Most did.

The A, B, Cs...and D, E, M, R, S, X and Ts of gas rationing.

As difficult as all these restrictions seemed, they were not perceived as tyranny.  In fact, people were filled with a sense of patriotism.  Americans were keenly aware that their sacrifices on the home front were helping the soldiers overseas who were making an even bigger sacrifice.

How the average person behaved during WW II is a far cry from the squabbling I see now on the internet.  I wish everyone could take the lessons of the war years to heart and count the many blessings they have today because things could be much much worse.  One of my friends posted a thought-provoking meme on Facebook a few weeks ago that read, “To put things in perspective for those of us feeling a bit stir crazy already.  Anne Frank and 7 other people hid in a 450 Sq. ft. attic for 761 days, quietly trying to remain undiscovered to stay alive.”  I understand the frustration caused by being cooped up for so long and the desire to vent but we need to keep things in their proper perspective.

An Easter Like No Other

Despite a mild winter with only one major snowstorm, I was really looking forward to spring.  There's something about more sunlight, warmer weather and trees blossoming after months of enduring cold dark days.  In February, I found a sharp-looking light gray sport coat at one of my favorite thrift stores and thought it would be nice to wear for Easter Mass.  Little did any of us know our plans for spring would drastically change.

When the first shelter-at-home orders were issued in response to the Covid-19 virus, some were hopeful things would be back to normal by April.  In fact, a few restaurants even took out large ads in the local newspaper to let their customers know they'd still be having Easter dinner.  As the weeks passed, this seemed more and more unlikely since social distancing guidelines were expanded.  With the handwriting on the wall, restaurants were now offering Easter dinner take out only.

It was also looking more and more unlikely that there would be Mass for Easter, too.  While some churches said they would be open just for confessions and prayer, my parish shut down altogether and not even an online bulletin was published.  I thought not attending weekly Mass for such a long time would feel strange but it only brought indifference.  While I didn't want to be like those “heathen” twice-a-year Catholics, I really didn't miss boring sermons, elderly parishioners, waking up early or feelings of loneliness in the pews.  It wasn't that I relished skipping Mass.  Rather, my many pastors over the years had failed to create an inviting atmosphere for Catholic singles like me.  Some worshipers would seek out online virtual Masses or watch Catholic TV but those options didn't appeal to me either.

For Easter, Masses with the Pope and Cardinal O'Malley were broadcast on local television stations but I slept in after a busy night at work.  My mother didn't feel like cooking so she ordered a couple of take out dinners from a nearby restaurant.  When I picked them up, the place was mostly empty and dark but I thanked the staff for staying open when so many other businesses had closed.  The trip to and from the restaurant was almost devoid of traffic which only added to my isolation.  Once I got home, we ate our Easter dinner at the kitchen table instead of in the dining room.  There was no company, no fancy silverware or plates and we didn't get dressed up.  Despite all of this, we were thankful for our blessings.  

It's sometimes said that mankind makes plans while God laughs.  I don't like this expression because it implies the Almighty takes some sort of pleasure in the suffering of others.  I do think it's important to appreciate the fact that life can sometimes turn on a dime and no matter how sure we are of the plans we have made, they don't necessarily come to pass.  One of the things I appreciate about the Muslim religion is how often the expression, “God willing” is used because this acknowledges a certain kind of humility.  What we want for one reason or another might not happen.

In January, it was announced the prestigious Top of the Hub restaurant located on the 52nd floor of Boston's Prudential Center would close after more than 54 years.  Their last day was scheduled for April 18th but due to the Covid-19 shutdowns, it's likely the place may never reopen.  All those people who thought there was still plenty of time to visit the restaurant for one last goodbye were sadly mistaken.

Many plans were made at the start of 2020.  When I bought that light gray sport coat, I imagined myself all dressed up at Easter Mass.  Restaurants probably thought they would make lots of money serving Easter dinner to their many customers.  How wrong we were.

The New Normal Is My Old Normal

I noticed the sign outside a local restaurant many times: Trivia Night - Wednesday at 9 PM.  As February waned, feelings of claustrophobia intensified and I really wanted to check it out but the thought of going by myself was too unappealing.  (Been there, done that.)  I decided to call one of the only friends I had left in the area but he just happened to be in a taxi heading to his parish's late evening Ash Wednesday celebration.  I asked if he wanted to get together after Mass but he was too tired.  My friend reassured me that next Wednesday looked open and he would call back then.

The following week, another trivia night passed by but the phone never rang.  I wound up spending yet another night in my room watching TV.  The next day my friend posted to Facebook a photo of himself enjoying karaoke at a bar in his neck of the woods.  It's a sad thing to be so inconsequential that not even your friends remember you! 

Putting something off for “another day” is not a good idea because you never know what the future might hold.  The month of March began normally enough but looming concerns about the Covid-19 virus had some people worried.  At the local grocery store, there was a run on powdered milk and Parmalat which no one ever bought.  I noticed granola and breakfast bars were curiously missing from the shelves too.  Was that a sign some shoppers were prepping for a pandemic?  The week of March 8th started quietly but on Thursday the 12th, all hell broke loose.  Grocery stores were swamped with panicked shoppers who were clamoring for everything from toilet paper to bottled water.  Within a few hours, lines were out the door and shelves were empty.  Soon governors were issuing stay-at-home orders.  Non-essential businesses were shut down, unemployment exploded and our unprecedentedly great economy came to a screeching halt.

The words “social distancing” entered our lexicon and each day brought with it new restrictions.  You had to stay 6 ft. apart from others.  Grocery stores closed earlier then special hours for senior citizens were established.  Aisles became one way and there were limits on how many items you could buy.  Then only a certain number of shoppers could be inside the store at one time.  More and more communities mandated the wearing of surgical masks or cloth face coverings as the number of people infected with Covid-19 continued to climb...along with the death toll.  The rest of the school year was in doubt as proms were canceled and graduation ceremonies turned virtual.  Masses were suspended.  Restaurants could only serve take out or delivery.  For some reason, liquor stores were deemed essential and remained open.  Gas prices plummeted and our roads never appeared emptier.

Now that most of us are taking shelter in our homes, a group video chat service named Zoom seems to be all the rage.  (I had never heard of it before the pandemic.)  With few places to go and not much to do, the internet has become essential for maintaining connections with others but people are discovering it's a poor substitute for real world social interactions.  We are less than two months into this new normal and already people are anxious and starting to complain about unprecedented levels of isolation.

If dealing with the loneliness from all those Covid-19 restrictions is weighing your soul down, imagine what lost sheep like me have endured for most of our lives.  Long before this pandemic started, I've struggled with feelings of extreme isolation on a daily basis.  I didn't go out all that much before the stay-at-home orders were issued and in the past I've suffered from chronic unemployment.  Decade after decade have slipped by without many meaningful relationships and as you can see from this blog entry's introduction, friends continue to be a source of great disappointment.  I hate to say this but dealing with the isolation brought on by Covid-19 is old-hat because I have been reluctantly practicing a form of social distancing for a very long time.

I still put in long hours at work since my job has been deemed essential.  When my shift ends, I take care of my elderly mother and then help with dinner before retreating to my room.  I may watch a couple of hours of TV just to decompress but then like the movie Groundhog Day, the process repeats itself all over again.  Such a busy schedule leaves very little room for a social life but I am glad to get a paycheck every week especially when so many workers have lost their jobs.

My desire for attending trivia night may have disappeared for now, but with all the restaurant closures, I couldn't go anyway.  If there's something to be learned from the social isolation brought on by the Covid-19 virus, I hope people will remember to treasure the relationships they have and not take anyone's feelings of loneliness for granted.