Then he goes on to discuss the beauty found in the sacrament of marriage, first from the perspective of a young couple's recent wedding. The vows they spoke were simple but pure and noble words. Next, he mentions offering Mass for a couple's 25th anniversary. The beauty of the readings was reflected in the life this husband and wife had built for each other over the years. “The world needs to see families like that; men and women who give over their whole life to the raising of their children. More than ever, the world needs to see what true communion looks like,” he declares.
Fr. Barnes then laments society's deformed view of marriage and how it has become more about “self-fulfillment” rather than laying down one's life for each other and for the children of that union. He observes how many couples nowadays delay marriage or don't ever get married because of this. My former pastor concludes his blog entry by writing, “Today in the midst of so much division, I think that marriage is the key to healing a world broken and devastated by division. Communion is attractive and pure. We need witnesses of communion. We need men and woman to live marriage.”
As a single who has been called to marriage for a long time now, I see within Fr. Barnes' blog entry a certain disconnect that plagues our Church. If holy matrimony is held up as such a beautiful union, then why isn't more being done to assist the men and women who desire it?
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| If we could only figure out Phase 2. |
This disconnect reminds me of an episode of South Park where gnomes sneak into people's bedrooms at night to steal underpants right out of dresser drawers. The main characters decide to follow these gnomes back to their lair and confront them. As it turns out, the gnomes are stealing underpants because it's part of a grand plan to make money. While pointing to a chart, one of the gnomes explains, “Phase one: collect underpants. Phase two: ? Phase three: profit.”
It's an absurd way of showing how a hoped for result isn't actually achieved when you do very little to get there. We see this same logic play out in Fr. Barnes' blog entry. Phase one: Marriage is a great thing. Phase two: ? Phase three: The world is saved through marriage.
During his tenure as pastor of St. Mary's, I can't recall Fr. Barnes doing anything to encourage singles to fulfill their calling to the sacrament of holy matrimony. In fact, the parish felt like a very discouraging place. Couples who were lucky enough to find each other were celebrated while lonely singles like me tended to be ignored probably because our narratives weren't so edifying.
Despite the sharp decreases in marriage over the last few decades, there are men and women who still desire the bonds of holy matrimony. We want to remain true to our spouses for the rest of our lives. We want to have children and make sure they are raised within the Catholic faith. Yet our Church is doing very little to help struggling singles get there. Marriage will save the world but who will save us?
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