An Unseen Failure

One byproduct of the priesthood shortage that I've noticed is an increase in the number of priests who speak with a foreign accent.  As some churches struggle to find enough men of the cloth to say Mass, priests from other counties have visited my parishes to lend a helping hand.  At times, their exotic accents are so thick, it's difficult to understand what they are saying.  I admit to checking out mentally during more than a few broken English sermons.

I've seen visiting foreign priests from many different countries over the years but the vast majority of them seem to come from India.  At times their mispronunciations almost make me laugh.  One Indian priest encouraged us to “say the grocery.”  (say the rosary)  On the altar, he held up the “brad and wine” (bread and wine) as we celebrated the “epi-funny.”  (Epiphany)  He also talked about the time he walked to a nearby symmetry.  (cemetery)  Another visiting Indian priest didn't quite understand all of our phrases and expressions and during the Christmas season he mentioned how the “three intelligent men” followed the star to Bethlehem.  (three wise men)           

Their sermons have also touched upon topics many of my American priests tend to shy away from like the abject poverty of third world countries, the struggles of spreading the Gospel in remote villages where even a simple bicycle can make all the difference and conflicts with other religions...namely Islam.  During one Easter Mass with little kids in the pews who probably had colorful thoughts of the Easter bunny in their minds, a visiting Indian priest told us about Christian hostages who were beheaded by ISIS in 2015 because they would not deny Jesus.  I found the sermon to be very inappropriate and quite depressing.  Not everyone is inspired by graphic tales of martyrdom.
 
In another sermon, one of these priests told us about a Catholic woman he knew from India who was going to marry a Muslim man.  They had fallen in love but he refused to convert to Christianity.  Instead, he insisted she embrace Islam and give up her religion.  After a period of soul searching, the woman agreed to his terms and just before she was to abandon her Catholic faith, she sought out our priest to discuss the matter.  After hearing her story he got down on his knees and begged her forgiveness.  He then apologized for failing her.
 
Our priest explained that this woman had been educated in a Catholic school, went to church all her life, was intelligent, and a successful doctor yet she was willing to give up her religion for love.  Had her fellow Catholics done a better job raising her in a community of faith, then maybe she would not have been willing to abandon her beliefs so easily.  As a single person, I saw a very different side to this failure.

My priest and the Catholic institutions that educated this woman did fail...but they failed to give her options for finding a good Catholic husband and THAT is what drove her into the arms of a Muslim man.  Perhaps if they had done more to bring Catholic singles together for the purposes of dating and marriage then maybe my priest wouldn't be asking this woman for her forgiveness. 

Most people want to experience romantic love.  Most people want to have a healthy outlet for their sexual desires.  These are not trivial things and if we can't obtain what we are looking for in life, sometimes misery sets in.  Sometimes we are willing to compromise our beliefs and settle for less.  Sometimes we even overlook obvious red flags.  Why?  Because falling in love is extremely important and it's about time our religious leaders recognize this.
 
I can't tell you how many priests just don't get it.  They say things like, “The only relationship you need is with Jesus.” or “Happiness is a choice and marriage won't automatically make you happy.”  But these statements really fail to understand the depth of a single person's needs.  It's not selfish to seek out love or to desire all the things (good and bad) that love brings but far too often, Catholic singles like me are made to feel this way.
 
A while ago, one of these visiting Indian priests told us in a sermon that he was 15 years old when he felt the call to the priesthood.  My mother wondered how someone with that kind of perspective could truly understand the average male.  At 15, my hormones were raging and I certainly wasn't thinking about the priesthood.  There's nothing wrong with that.  It just means I wasn't meant for the Sacrament of Holy Orders.

After Mass, I wanted to share my thoughts about this woman's decision to give up her faith but the priest was so busy greeting and blessing the departing crowd, I decided not to wait around.  Unfortunately, he did not return to our parish the next week or the week after that so as the relevance of his sermon faded, I lost my chance to revisit this subject...not that it would have made a difference.