When I had my own college radio show several years ago, I'd “celebrate” February 14th by playing songs about breakups and heartache. It was a lot of fun and going against the grain like that made Valentine's Day bearable. Without an outlet to mock the holiday and vent my frustrations, Valentine's Day has become as annoying as ever.
This February 14th, I found myself taking my mother to the eye doctor for her routine check up. Despite Covid restrictions that limited the number of patients that could be seen at one time, the waiting room was packed...with old people. It was clear to me that the doctors violated their own policies in order to squeeze everyone in. So instead of maintaining social distancing, I was seated right next to a few old ladies. One was an immigrant from Israel and she decided to strike up a conversation by asking about the origins of Valentine's Day. When I told her about it, others joined in the discussion. Just my luck there were never any women my age to talk to! After waiting two hours in a cramped corner, the doctor finally saw my mother. Since I had just come off a third-shift job, I was exhausted. This was not how I wanted to spend the holiday.
When I started dating a woman from Catholic Match in late 2022, I thought that maybe...just maybe I would finally have a girlfriend by the time February 14th rolled around. I even briefly imagined how we would spend the day. A local thrift store had an attractive three pane picture frame for sale so I decided to buy it hoping to place three different photos of her inside of it. Well, I suspected dating this woman was too good to be true and she dumped me before I could even take three photos of her. Now the picture frame sits empty on my bedroom floor and with nothing to show, it's symbolic of my many years as a dateless wonder.
When discussing Valentine's Day with one of my married friends, he takes a more intellectual approach by saying that the date of February 14th really means nothing to him or his wife and they tend to focus more on their wedding anniversary as the big day to express romance. By doing so, he avoids those special Valentine's Day menus at restaurants which tend to be overrated and not worth the extra money. In fact, he has an acquaintance who celebrates Valentine's Day either the day before or after the 14th just to avoid being price-gouged. He must have a very understanding wife because many spouses wouldn't appreciate that kind of frugality.
At one time, the holiday was actually called Saint Valentine's Day but as we have seen with Christmas and Easter, capitalism tends to downplay the religious roots of such days to make the pursuit of the almighty dollar easier and more acceptable. At work, I stumbled across a memo from our regional manager and he described the holiday as an opportunity for record breaking sales adding, “Go Big! Win the day! All profit here!” This is the same person who routinely cancels employee raises that our store manager submits for approval.
I don't receive the Catholic television station EWTN at home but I recently had the chance to check it out in the waiting room of yet another doctor's office. A talk show whose name escapes me was discussing how unrealistic people's expectations were for Valentine's Day. The female host admitted a lot of women have fantastically high expectations for romance and love that few men can live up to. She cautioned the audience against seeing love through the eyes of Hollywood movies because real relationships had their fair share of ebbs and flows.
I always thought Valentine's Day was a good barometer for a couple in love. Are you comfortable enough with each other to get a little sappy on one particular day out of the year? Would your significant other be too demanding of gifts and dinner or would they appreciate your romantic gestures even if they fell a little short? Are you too jaded to express signs of affection? The holiday's true meaning might be corrupted but that doesn't mean we have to buy into capitalism's exploitation of it. Perhaps a quiet dinner at home or at a restaurant that doesn't make a big deal of the holiday. Maybe get your partner a homemade gift or something nice that didn't break the bank? Unfortunately, the chance to test these theories slipped by me once again since I spent my 49th year on this earth never knowing what it would be like to have someone to love on Valentine's Day.
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