No Such Thing As A McDonald's Priest

                                                     Source: Business Insider

Over the past several months, I've been thinking about how different the lives of priests are compared to single Catholics who seek marriage.  Both groups feel they have some inner calling that's part of God's plan, but people like me don't find much encouragement from the Church along the way.

At Mass we hear prayers for vocations to the priesthood and religious life while Catholic singles don't even get a mention.  One pastor felt encouraging priestly vocations was a top priority and he would regularly ask the men of the parish who felt “the calling” to speak to him after Mass.  If you were thinking about the priesthood, he wanted to know you.  On the other hand, if you tried talking to him about your call to be married, a wall went up.  Suddenly my very eloquent and thoughtful pastor was at a loss for words.  Did his path in life make it difficult to understand people like me?

If you want to be a priest, the Church seems to bend over backwards to help nurture that calling.  There are discernment retreats, plenty of one on one time with other priests and even a chance to meet the Cardinal.  Sermons describe choosing the priesthood or religious life as a courageous decision.  Some parishes set up prayer groups for priestly vocations while others feature profiles of individual seminarians in the weekly bulletin.  You certainly don't hear anyone question this calling.  No one warns, “Be careful for what you wish for because you could be miserable in the priesthood.”

They do say this to Catholic singles, however.  Some people offer helpful advice by suggesting it's better to be single and lonely than to be trapped in a loveless marriage.  They tell us we don't need anyone to complete us because we have Jesus.  In her blog entry entitled 7 Reasons Why It's Hard to be Single in the Church, Sarah Thebarge writes, “Singleness is not a disease, and marriage is not the cure.”  Huh?  I thought when a person has a calling in life, they should try to fulfill it.

For single Catholics, finding your way in the world can bring confusion and doubt.  When you become a priest, there is clarity.  This is what you will do for the rest of your life.  The assignments may change over the years but your vocation is being fulfilled every day.  You never have to worry about a paycheck, or a place to sleep or a purpose in life and when you retire, the archdiocese takes care of your needs.  This is not to say being a priest is easy but there are certain pressures in life they will never know.

After college, I worked in a grocery store for a few years.  The job was mindless, we had to wear dumb uniforms and customers were downright insulting at times.  The longer I stayed, the more removed from God's plan I felt.  We often hear of people putting their dreams on hold just to make ends meet.  By contrast, a priest never has to give up his vocation to work at McDonald's.

For men of the cloth, life-long celibacy represents a success but for someone who is called to be married and have kids, it represents a failure.  I don't think many priests fully appreciate this.  If someone entered the seminary but was later told he couldn't be a priest, how would he feel?  Would the burning in his heart suddenly go away?

When you have a calling, whether it's to marriage or the priesthood, anything else feels like you're on the wrong path.  While those with priestly vocations in mind have a strong support system waiting for them, singles like me are left to our own devices and told it's not the Church's “job” to offer us help.