A Letter from the Cardinal

A little over two weeks had passed since I handed Cardinal Sean O'Malley my letter regarding the struggles of Catholic singles when his reply arrived in the mail.  The quick response time seemed like a good sign but I feared receiving nothing more than a generic form letter.  The Cardinal wrote:

Allow me this moment to acknowledge your letter presented following my celebration of Mass in observance of the 60th Anniversary of the Carmelite Chapel at he North Shore Mall.  Thank you for taking the time to join us for that wonderful celebration.

Please know of my appreciation for sharing with me your very personal reflection concerning your seeking marriage in the Church with a faithful Catholic woman.  The vocation of marriage is indeed of great importance in the life of the Church and the witness a Catholic husband and wife is of great value.

It is commendable that you have given significant time and effort to work with the life of the Church in pursuit of Catholic marriage.  Regarding opportunities for interacting with women who also would be seeking that vocation, it might be that involvement in activities in the local parish would provide the best opportunities.  As you note, parishes do promote programs for families, young adults and vocations.  It has been my experience that parishes also offer opportunities for developing friendships and relationships with like-minded adults including women of like age who are seeking the fulfillment and stability of a Catholic spouse.  I pray that your dedication and commitment to the vocation of Catholic marriage will be fulfilled through the life of the Church.

With the assurance of a remembrance in my prayer for you and all whom you hold dear, I remain

Sincerely yours in Christ,

Sean O'Malley

Archbishop of Boston

After reading the letter, my heart sank.  For a very well-worded document, it really didn't say much of anything.  In fact, the only concern of mine that Cardinal O'Malley specifically addressed was about my struggles as a single on the parish level...but he completely missed the point!  My reason for writing him in the first place was because our churches have not been providing help for their singles since most parishioners tend to be elderly or families.  Despite the Cardinal's assurances, parish activities offer no “opportunities for developing friendships with like-minded adults including women of like age who are seeking the fulfillment and stability of a Catholic spouse.”

In that moment, I felt so very low.  Had I been someone important, perhaps the Cardinal would have been more receptive to my heartfelt pleas.  But I'm just a nobody and once again our clergy has demonstrated they can't even begin to understand the difficulties single Catholics with a call to Holy Matrimony face.

Instead of giving me a sense of comfort and making me feel closer to God, Cardinal Sean's letter left me a little angry.  I have endured a tremendous amount of ridicule and loneliness for the sake of my Catholic faith.  We need our shepherds to be there for us especially when we ask for their help.