Now's Their Chance

 Abuse victims and their relatives             Matt Rourke / AP

Around this time last year, I met with Bishop Mark O'Connell to discuss some of the things that were wrong with the Catholic Church.  Not shying away from any controversies I brought up the mishandling of the priest sex scandal which hit the Boston Archdiocese pretty hard.  There was a sense that I was dredging up something long-past and Bishop O'Connell assured me the Church was in a much better position to prevent such abuse from happening again.  However, recent events show what I discussed with the bishop is more relevant than ever.

In early August, Cardinal Sean O'Malley announced he would be investigating allegations of sexual abuse that two former seminarians from St. John's Seminary had posted to social media.  In a statement, the Cardinal said, “The allegations made this week are a source of serious concern to me as Archbishop of Boston. The ministry of the Catholic priesthood requires a foundation of trust with the people of the Church and the wider community in which our priests serve. I am determined that all our seminaries meet that standard of trust and provide the formation necessary for priests to live a demanding vocation of service in our contemporary society.”

I give Cardinal O'Malley credit for setting the proper tone in this situation.  Although the allegations have yet to be proved or disproved, he canceled a planned trip to Ireland where he was to moderate a panel discussion for the World Meeting of Families.  The rector of St. John's Seminary, Msgr. James Moroney was placed on sabbatical leave and a board of inquiry was formed to investigate the matter. One member of this board just happens to be Bishop Mark O'Connell.  (I hope he remembers all the things we had discussed last year regarding honesty and openness.)

These allegations first surfaced in opinion pieces written by former seminarian John Monaco on the websites OnePeterFive.com and ChurchMilitant.com.  On August 7th, another former seminarian said on the Boston Archdiocese's Facebook page that there was a culture of alcohol abuse and inappropriate sexual behavior at St. John's seminary and his concerns had been dismissed by the vocations director and vice rector.  “The Church has not learned Her lesson and maybe if the stories are once again made public then things will finally change,” he remarked.

It never rains but it pours.  Also in August, Cardinal O'Malley found himself apologizing for missing a letter sent to him in 2015 that detailed accusations of sexual misconduct by then Cardinal Theodore McCarrick.  Fr. Boniface Ramsey tried to warn Church officials several times even writing to Sean O'Malley since he was president of the Pontifical Commission for the Protection of Minors.  Cardinal O'Malley stated his secretary received the letter but did not pass it along since the accusations fell outside the jurisdiction of his office.

Rumors and accusations against Cardinal McCarrick go back many decades and despite warnings from fellow priests about his misconduct, Church officials covered the matter up.  In June of this year, allegations against Cardinal McCarrick were finally revealed to the public and he was forced to resign.  On August 25th, Archbishop Carlo Maria Vigano released a lengthy letter which described how the Vatican ignored several warnings on Cardinal McCarrick's sexual misconduct.  The Archbishop was even so bold as to call for the resignation of Pope Francis.  When asked about the letter, the normally outspoken Pope said, “I will not say a single word about this.”  He then called on journalists to look into the credibility of Archbishop Vigano's claims which have yet to be substantiated.

In mid-August a Pennsylvania grand jury report detailing the abuse of over 1,000 young people by more than 300 predator priests was released to the public.  The state's attorney general held a press conference with several victims present and video taped testimony from three victims (now adults) on how the abuse ruined their lives.  This prompted a revived discussion among Catholics on whether or not to donate to the weekly collection.  (Boston Catholic Insider recommends supporting your local parish by paying directly for your church's expenditures like the heating or electric bills.)  Needless to say, it was not a good month to be a Catholic.

We keep hearing from the hierarchy that this culture of abuse will no longer be tolerated.  Well, now's their chance to prove it.  It's time for bishops, cardinals and the pope alike to take meaningful action and not just talk about stopping this great evil that infests our Church.  Share all internal documents pertaining to the scandal with law enforcement.  Force corrupt clergy to resign and see that they are severely punished (criminally if possible).  Tear down the Church's wall of obfuscation.  Speak truthfully and plainly.  Embrace transparency and honesty because every time the hierarchy doesn't, our Catholic faith suffers.

Many people hoped the Church had learned its lesson from the scandal in Boston so when news of more abuse and cover ups break, we are heartbroken and feel deceived.  Now's your chance to show us that this time is different.  This time, you will do the right thing.

A Choice For The Archdiocese

My continued discussion with Bishop Mark O'Connell expanded upon the remaining topics I had brought up during his visit to my church.  It started to rain and the low rumble of thunder interrupted our conversation a few times.  Was that another omen?

I bluntly told the bishop with all the difficulties facing the Catholic Church, the hierarchy had a choice: ignore what people like me had to say and watch more parishes wither away or listen to our concerns and try to change course.  I gave several examples where the Boston Archdiocese's arrogance had turned people off.  Instead of being warm and caring, the hierarchy hid behind well-paid lawyers and spokespeople.  A skeptical public sees right through this.  I felt the Archdiocese desperately needed a passionate leader because Cardinal Sean O'Malley seemed too cold and reserved.

When I mentioned how the closure of St. Frances Xavier Cabrini in Scituate was mishandled, the bishop agreed but he commended Cardinal O'Malley for not kicking parishioners out when they held a continuous vigil in that church for over ten years.  I thought if the cardinal had been willing to listen, the controversy never would have happened to begin with.  Trauma from the first wave of church closures ran deep.  Our religion places a lot of importance on creating beautiful houses of worship.  (Just look at the Vatican.)  At my former parish, priests and laity alike would say how beautiful our church was.  Even Cardinal O'Malley's blog praised the recent renovations at St. Mary the Annunciation in Danvers.  Yet, when houses of worship have to close, the hierarchy does an about-face saying, “The church is the people not the building.”

We talked more about needless renovations.  Bishop O'Connell had actually served at St. Mary's in Danvers during the 1990s.  When the parish created a parking lot a couple of years ago, they tore down a beloved Victorian which further alienated the community.  A plan to save the house was ignored by the pastor and another opportunity to show average citizens our faith's compassion and gentleness was lost.  This same stubbornness resurfaced at my former parish in Beverly when the pastor there tore up a cherished garden for a parking lot that parishioners never asked for.

Then I explained how the collaborative plan in Beverly was faltering.  In fact, it was our new pastor's attitude that sent my mother and me looking for a new church.  I told the bishop we weren't living in the dark ages anymore.  If a priest does something wrong, it's unrealistic to believe parishioners will simply follow him with blind obedience.

We both didn't know how to reach the younger generation.  A summer reading group meant for St. Theresa's millennials only attracted older parishioners.  I said many young people today completely dismissed religion and the Church's position on gay marriage was a big wedge issue for millennials.  The bishop thought the Church's teachings weren't fully understood and that's why he wanted to reach out to more people including those who felt marginalized.

We had a lot to say about the sex scandal.  I challenged the Church to do more to satisfy the concerns of victims.  Bishop O'Connell said not all of the accused priests were guilty so there had to be a balance between total transparency and protecting the lives of innocent priests.  Both sides had done things to cause mistrust and that included taking some of the bishop's own statements out of context to portray him as uncaring.  While many in America thought Cardinal Law was a fugitive from justice, Rome believed his resignation and reassignment to a lowly position was punishment.  Bishop O'Connell raised many interesting points I had never heard before because the Archdiocese's approach for so long has been to keep silent.

I suggested the Church do exactly what we were doing right now: have more open, honest and respectful conversations...with everyone.  Reach out to victims groups despite past suspicions.  Stop seeing websites like BishopAccountability.org and Boston Catholic Insider as threats because exposing corruption was their way of trying to make the Church stronger.  People respect honesty and when you speak the truth, you don't have to worry about what deceptive thing a spokesperson said three months ago.  I asked the bishop if he could go on local TV and talk about the sex scandal the way he was talking to me.  He said Cardinal O'Malley probably wouldn't have a problem with it but others who handled public relations might.  What a shame because I think in these times, there was a real hunger for honesty.

We spoke for two hours and during that time, Bishop O'Connell appeared to be very sincere.  He appreciated my strong faith but I told him my faith felt very weak.  I was angry with God for sending me down such an uncertain path.  Then I asked if anyone else had brought up similar concerns during his Q and A sessions at other parishes.  He replied, “You're unique.”  Before we wrapped things up, I wondered what would happen to the information he collected at these meetings.  The bishop said he didn't have the authority to change things on his own but if Cardinal O'Malley called on him, he would definitely share what we had discussed.  I found this to be somewhat disheartening.  How much longer would I have to wait for changes that should have happened many years ago?

A Talk With The Bishop: Part 2

Bishop Mark O'Connell addressed most of my concerns sometimes going into great detail if it was a topic he was familiar with.  He started off by saying, “I feel your pain.”  (I took that comment with a grain of salt.)

Regarding the struggles of singles like me, he said there were a number of Catholic dating websites out there and perhaps I needed to take the lead on this.  When he suggested trying to form my own group, I reminded him of the failed efforts at my former parish.  Bishop O'Connell advised me not to give up so easily because only one priest had rejected my idea.  (Actually it was three pastors in a row.)  He said I might have to start visiting other parishes to find compatible Catholic singles.  One of my priests who was sitting in the pews gave me a nervous smile because he didn't want to lose me as a parishioner.  Then the bishop suggested we could get together in the near future to discuss this subject in greater detail.

Bishop O'Connell admitted some priests were just plain “nuts” but there was little that could be done since having an odd personality wasn't grounds for dismissal.  He only touched upon the topic of needless church renovations by saying he knew St. Mary's of the Annunciation had planned a few improvements like a new parking lot but for some reason they decided to redo the entire church.

On the new collaborative plan, he was aware the pastor at my former parish had spread himself too thin by not eliminating some of the Masses at all three churches.  I felt there was more to the issue than that but said nothing.  Earlier in the Q and A session, the bishop explained how there were too many churches in the Boston Archdiocese but closing many of them had caused a surprising amount of hate to be directed at Cardinal O'Malley who felt so hurt, he vowed not to close anymore churches for the time being.

A lot of thought was given to the new collaborative plan.  Was it working?  Bishop O'Connell said in order to avert a priest shortage down the road, each parish needed to supply the Archdiocese with a certain number of new priests but so far, that wasn't happening despite the emphasis on priestly vocations. 

The bishop had a lot to say about the sex abuse scandal because he was very much involved with making sure something like that never happened again.  Before 2002, there were no canon laws on how to deal with abusive priests.  He spent many years helping to change that.  Bishop O'Connell said the Church had feared scandal so much, they kept reports of abuse quiet.  However, it was like trying to hold a beach ball underwater.  The more they pushed down, the harder it became to control until everything just erupted.  He assured us the Church was in a much better position to prevent abuse and it was his hope people 100 years from now would look back on those dark times as something that was terrible but long in the past.  I silently wondered if the Church would still be around in 100 years.

Bishop O'Connell agreed with my point about aging congregations and said elderly parishioners were keeping the Church afloat since many Catholics just didn't care about their religion.  He noticed how parents would drop their kids off at CCD classes without ever going to Mass themselves.

After hearing me speak, a woman wondered what could be done to make church more appealing to young people because the enthusiasm she saw at those Steubenville Youth Conferences seemed to be short-lived.  The bishop admitted some parishes made our young people feel unwelcome  He said that back in the day CYOs often fostered fellowship.

The Q and A session wrapped up with Bishop O'Connell thanking us for a thoughtful discussion.  One of my priests praised our sincerity and candor.  The bishop gave me his card so we could continue the discussion.  As I started to leave, a handful of old people stopped to talk to me.  They appreciated my comments and some said they would pray for me.  I politely thanked them but wondered to myself why there were never any women my age at events like this.  I had certainly put myself out there.

The following week, my priest thanked me again for sharing my concerns.  The week after that, an elderly woman who had attended the Q and A session walked up to me before Mass with sad eyes and asked if I was doing alright.  Such sympathy was incredibly awkward but after church we talked some more and joked about it.  Alas, I wasn't looking for a pity party, just a helping hand.

A Talk With The Bishop: Part 1

When it was my turn to speak during the question and answer session with Bishop Mark O'Connell, I asked for the microphone and said, "I have a lot to get off my chest but I will be respectful."  I then expressed the hope that we could all be respectful to each other no matter what our concerns were.

Without having any idea how I would say everything that was on my mind, the spirit seemed to move me.  I spoke with just a couple of pauses and touched upon most of my concerns.  The bishop listened intently and only added his thoughts a few times.  There were three topics that my discussion focused on: Catholic singles, the priest sex abuse scandal, and the hierarchy.

I started off by talking about my first parish, St. John's in Beverly and how that church's interior was needlessly renovated.  Spending money in frivolous ways was a pattern seen in a lot of parishes and I mentioned St. Mary of the Annunciation in the nearby town of Danvers.  That church spent a couple of million on so-called improvements that will do very little to bring young people to Mass.

I told everyone to take a look around the room and see how few young adults were here.  Then I wondered what would happen to this church in another couple of decades adding, "Am I going to be the only one sitting in these pews?" 

As a single person with a calling to be married, I said the Church did nothing for people like me.  The focus was on priestly vocations and not much else.  I mentioned how my priests ignored me after speaking to them about my desire to form a young adult group.  Then with a little bit of rage in my voice, I added, "And now I'm not even a young adult anymore.  I'm going to be 44 years old on Monday and I have never had a girlfriend.  Weekend after weekend goes by and I find myself alone."  Touching upon my college years at a very liberal school, I said defending Catholic values has only made me an outcast.

I told the bishop that the hierarchy came across as being out of touch.  When the Archdiocese of Boston first learned of sexually abusive priests, they should have put a stop to it immediately.  Instead the cover up and scandal drove many parishioners away.  When abuse victims protested outside the Cathedral of the Holy Cross, Cardinal Sean O'Malley should have spoken with them face to face instead of turning his back.  For all the talk of transparency and zero tolerance, we are still seeing people resign in disgust from the Church's own abuse commissions.

I said the Archdiocese's new collaborative plan wasn't really working.  At my former parish, collections went down because our new pastor was more administrator than shepherd.  The earlier wave of church closures had also driven many Catholics away in anger.  Those buildings may have needed to be closed but the cardinal could have met with parishioners one on one instead of being cold and arrogant.  Whenever the Church failed to act in a Christ-like manner, it ultimately hurt the faith.

I asked how the people in the pews were supposed to evangelize an increasingly skeptical public when the Archdiocese's own arrogance undermined us.  Even most of the nuns from my high school could have been friendlier but they chose to be mean instead and that makes people like me run in the other direction.  My talk concluded with one short statement that carried a lot of weight: "I have never felt so lost."

Since my primary concern was getting out all my frustrations, I think I only looked at the bishop once or twice.  Everything seemed to flow really well with one topic merging into another.  Now I waited to hear Bishop Mark O'Connell's response.

850K Up In Smoke

Recently, I landed on the Archdiocese of Boston's Facebook page only to discover a flurry of negative comments.  Many entries referred to the $850,000 that was spent trying to defeat Question 4 which ultimately legalized marijuana in Massachusetts.  I never knew about this expenditure and couldn't help but think what an incredible waste of money it was.  Within the Archdiocese of Boston we've seen collections go down, parishes close, attendance at Mass shrink and church buildings sold off to be demolished.  Isn't it amazing how they are able to raise funds that sizable in such a short amount of time?

According to Church officials, the money came from a discretionary, unrestricted central ministry fund, not from collection baskets, the Catholic Appeal or funds designated for parish support.  The Knights of Columbus also chipped in $150,000.  Since the Catholic Church provides an array of social services and ministries, it was felt legalization would negatively impact these efforts.  Cardinal Sean O’Malley claimed marijuana was a gateway drug and he saw first hand how it destroyed lives in the inner city.  The 850K was spent so late in the game however, its impact was questionable.

Poll after poll reveals the country's attitudes on decriminalizing marijuana are changing and I think a big part of this is because people are reevaluating America's war on drugs.  Television host and travel guide Rick Steves makes some compelling arguments when he highlights how Europe has dealt with the problem of substance abuse.

Travel guide Rick Steves -  For more on his view:
 https://www.ricksteves.com/about-rick/drug-policy-reform

Even though marijuana is legal (or at least tolerated) in most European countries, the continent sees fewer drug-related deaths, less drug-related incarceration, and less drug consumption per capita than the United States.  Rick Steves explains Europe is focused on “harm reduction” rather than punishment.  Since law enforcement targets dealers instead of users, more funding is available for doctors, counselors, and clinics.  It's estimated Europeans save 15 euros in police and healthcare costs for each euro invested in drug education, addiction prevention, and counseling.

What about Cardinal O'Malley's assertion that marijuana is a gateway drug?  Many feel it's the criminalization of pot that forces young people to buy from dealers who have an economic incentive to get their customers hooked on more expensive and addictive hard drugs.  Rick Steves writes that over three times as many Americans report having tried heroin compared to the Dutch where marijuana is available in “coffee shops”.  (No one gets carded in the black market.)

The Archdiocese says numerous highly credentialed studies show legalization hurts youth and the needy and they point to recent statistics from Colorado, the first state to legalize marijuana.  Rick Steves notes statistics on drug use and abuse are all over the map because most sources have an agenda which skew their findings.  In other words, it's easy to embrace junk science.  We know that America's war on drugs has marginalized addicts, fueled a black market, drained resources and disproportionately incarcerated minorities.  I think society is wondering if it's time for a smarter, more compassionate approach.

While you expect the Archdiocese to weigh in on some moral issues like doctor-assisted suicide, spending money for defeating Question 4 seems odd.  Spokesman Terrence Donilon said of the 850K, “It reflects the fact that the Archdiocese holds the matter among its highest priorities.”  Last year, a few victims of the sex abuse scandal came forward to say the Boston Archdiocese was reneging on its promise of continued care and therapy.  Parishes continue to struggle with maintenance issues that the collection baskets no longer cover.  With all the problems facing the Catholic Church, this is what they spend money on?

As a single Catholic, I'm left to wonder why Cardinal O'Malley doesn't see people like me as a high priority.  (850K actually buys over 10,600 singles a six month membership to CatholicMatch.com.)  At one time, the Archdiocese even had an office of young adults but I guess it wasn't a high priority either.

It's bad enough so much money was thrown out the window on a lost cause.  What's worse is when the Boston Archdiocese thinks no one will be upset by it.