Now's Their Chance

 Abuse victims and their relatives             Matt Rourke / AP

Around this time last year, I met with Bishop Mark O'Connell to discuss some of the things that were wrong with the Catholic Church.  Not shying away from any controversies I brought up the mishandling of the priest sex scandal which hit the Boston Archdiocese pretty hard.  There was a sense that I was dredging up something long-past and Bishop O'Connell assured me the Church was in a much better position to prevent such abuse from happening again.  However, recent events show what I discussed with the bishop is more relevant than ever.

In early August, Cardinal Sean O'Malley announced he would be investigating allegations of sexual abuse that two former seminarians from St. John's Seminary had posted to social media.  In a statement, the Cardinal said, “The allegations made this week are a source of serious concern to me as Archbishop of Boston. The ministry of the Catholic priesthood requires a foundation of trust with the people of the Church and the wider community in which our priests serve. I am determined that all our seminaries meet that standard of trust and provide the formation necessary for priests to live a demanding vocation of service in our contemporary society.”

I give Cardinal O'Malley credit for setting the proper tone in this situation.  Although the allegations have yet to be proved or disproved, he canceled a planned trip to Ireland where he was to moderate a panel discussion for the World Meeting of Families.  The rector of St. John's Seminary, Msgr. James Moroney was placed on sabbatical leave and a board of inquiry was formed to investigate the matter. One member of this board just happens to be Bishop Mark O'Connell.  (I hope he remembers all the things we had discussed last year regarding honesty and openness.)

These allegations first surfaced in opinion pieces written by former seminarian John Monaco on the websites OnePeterFive.com and ChurchMilitant.com.  On August 7th, another former seminarian said on the Boston Archdiocese's Facebook page that there was a culture of alcohol abuse and inappropriate sexual behavior at St. John's seminary and his concerns had been dismissed by the vocations director and vice rector.  “The Church has not learned Her lesson and maybe if the stories are once again made public then things will finally change,” he remarked.

It never rains but it pours.  Also in August, Cardinal O'Malley found himself apologizing for missing a letter sent to him in 2015 that detailed accusations of sexual misconduct by then Cardinal Theodore McCarrick.  Fr. Boniface Ramsey tried to warn Church officials several times even writing to Sean O'Malley since he was president of the Pontifical Commission for the Protection of Minors.  Cardinal O'Malley stated his secretary received the letter but did not pass it along since the accusations fell outside the jurisdiction of his office.

Rumors and accusations against Cardinal McCarrick go back many decades and despite warnings from fellow priests about his misconduct, Church officials covered the matter up.  In June of this year, allegations against Cardinal McCarrick were finally revealed to the public and he was forced to resign.  On August 25th, Archbishop Carlo Maria Vigano released a lengthy letter which described how the Vatican ignored several warnings on Cardinal McCarrick's sexual misconduct.  The Archbishop was even so bold as to call for the resignation of Pope Francis.  When asked about the letter, the normally outspoken Pope said, “I will not say a single word about this.”  He then called on journalists to look into the credibility of Archbishop Vigano's claims which have yet to be substantiated.

In mid-August a Pennsylvania grand jury report detailing the abuse of over 1,000 young people by more than 300 predator priests was released to the public.  The state's attorney general held a press conference with several victims present and video taped testimony from three victims (now adults) on how the abuse ruined their lives.  This prompted a revived discussion among Catholics on whether or not to donate to the weekly collection.  (Boston Catholic Insider recommends supporting your local parish by paying directly for your church's expenditures like the heating or electric bills.)  Needless to say, it was not a good month to be a Catholic.

We keep hearing from the hierarchy that this culture of abuse will no longer be tolerated.  Well, now's their chance to prove it.  It's time for bishops, cardinals and the pope alike to take meaningful action and not just talk about stopping this great evil that infests our Church.  Share all internal documents pertaining to the scandal with law enforcement.  Force corrupt clergy to resign and see that they are severely punished (criminally if possible).  Tear down the Church's wall of obfuscation.  Speak truthfully and plainly.  Embrace transparency and honesty because every time the hierarchy doesn't, our Catholic faith suffers.

Many people hoped the Church had learned its lesson from the scandal in Boston so when news of more abuse and cover ups break, we are heartbroken and feel deceived.  Now's your chance to show us that this time is different.  This time, you will do the right thing.

Wounds Never Healed

Disgraced former head of the Boston Archdiocese, Cardinal Law passed away this December.  When reports of sexually abusive priests came to his attention, he reassigned them to other parishes and kept the allegations quiet.  This allowed those abusive priests to molest again.  When the cover up was finally exposed in 2002, it seriously hurt the Church's moral credibility and sent the Cardinal fleeing to Rome.

Some victims and their families have reacted strongly to news of Bernard Law's death by saying they hope he has gone to hell for allowing such a thing to happen over and over again.  The current leader of the Boston Archdiocese, Cardinal Sean O'Malley, was careful with his words during a press conference stating that ultimately it's the goal of Christianity to see that everyone gets into heaven.

During a recent interview with the Salem News, abused former altar boy Bernie McDaid described a private meeting he and his mother had with Cardinal Law in 2002.  “I'm not sticking up for Bernie Law but he did apologize.”  McDaid added, “He was absolutely wrong and he knew it.  But he represents hundreds of cardinals who were moving priests around.  To make Bernie Law the scapegoat kind of shortens the issue to Boston.  This is all over the world.”

McDaid also recalled a meeting he helped organize between victims and Cardinal Law.  A young woman whose brother was abused by a priest and later took his own life stood up and said to the Cardinal, “I want you to know that you killed my brother.”  When Cardinal Law looked down at the floor, she screamed at him,  “Look me in the eye.  You're a murderer.”

Keeping the allegations of abuse quiet also made the victims think they were alone.  Imagine the weight of such a violation on your soul.  Now imagine having to bear that weight all by yourself.  I think if there is any sense of justice, Cardinal Law would experience all the heartache, indignity and trauma of the lives that were ruined by the cover up.  The sad part was, it didn't have to be this way.

Our priests lecture us all the time about standing up for what is right even if it costs us dearly.  They cite how much the martyrs gave up and ask if we would do the same.  Why is it the Church didn't follow its own advice?  When Cardinal Law first received complaints about abusive priests, he should have been on the phone to the police.  (The Church today would be in much better shape spiritually and financially if he had!)  Reassigning those priests to other parishes was like hoping a ticking time bomb wouldn't go off.  What was it about Bernard Law's character that allowed the abuse to continue as far as it did?

I only met Cardinal Law once during an anniversary celebration of the Boston Archdiocese held at my former high school.  He was getting out of the backseat of a car and chatted with a few people near the entrance to the auditorium.  Frankly, there was something about him I never liked.  Whether it was television interviews or recorded messages played to our parish (usually about money), he struck me as a milquetoast who just wasn't passionate about defending the Catholic faith.  I certainly don't remember him being too critical of Boston area Catholic politicians who actively promoted agendas that ran counter to the Church's teachings.

http://www.salemnews.com/news/local_news/cardinal-s-confession-sex-abuse-victim-reflects-on-meeting-law/article_08aea181-5a02-5118-8ae5-91b589803fac.html

Some Catholics say we should stop talking about the scandal because being negative weakens the Church and accomplishes very little.  What continues to hurt the Church is not doing right by the victims.  When members of S.N.A.P. protested outside the Cathedral of the Holy Cross, one parishioner wondered what more do the victims want.  That's an easy thing to say if you've never suffered the horror of a shattered childhood.

What also continues to hurt the Church is it's lack of genuine honesty.  In a prepared statement, Cardinal O'Malley said: “I recognize that Cardinal Law’s passing brings forth a wide range of emotions on the part of many people. I am particularly cognizant of all who experienced the trauma of sexual abuse by clergy, whose lives were so seriously impacted by those crimes, and their families and loved ones.”  Now if you were having a heart to heart conversation with someone, would you actually use the word cognizant?  Instead of a well-plotted form letter that sounds like it was crafted by a lawyer or politician, how about the honesty of plain talk?

Cardinal Sean O'Malley mentions the good work Bernard Law did in the South but this is taking a “Mousilini made the trains run on time” approach.  No matter what good Cardinal Law did in the past, his role during the abuse scandal has been cemented in history and you cannot remove the man from such grievous misdeeds. 

During a deposition Cardinal Law was forced to give, some of the victims described him as angry rather than contrite.  Bernie McDaid recalled in the Salem News how during his second visit to the Vatican in 2010 Cardinal Law hung up on him.  “I'm pretty sure it was him.  He spoke in English and quickly switched over to Italian.”  Whether you believe Cardinal Law was truly sorry for what had happened or just sorry his cover up was exposed, he became the poster child for how badly the priest abuse scandal was handled.  It's been said the Catholic Church is in a much better position to prevent such abuse from happening again but it never should have gone on as long as it did in the first place.

A Talk With The Bishop: Part 2

Bishop Mark O'Connell addressed most of my concerns sometimes going into great detail if it was a topic he was familiar with.  He started off by saying, “I feel your pain.”  (I took that comment with a grain of salt.)

Regarding the struggles of singles like me, he said there were a number of Catholic dating websites out there and perhaps I needed to take the lead on this.  When he suggested trying to form my own group, I reminded him of the failed efforts at my former parish.  Bishop O'Connell advised me not to give up so easily because only one priest had rejected my idea.  (Actually it was three pastors in a row.)  He said I might have to start visiting other parishes to find compatible Catholic singles.  One of my priests who was sitting in the pews gave me a nervous smile because he didn't want to lose me as a parishioner.  Then the bishop suggested we could get together in the near future to discuss this subject in greater detail.

Bishop O'Connell admitted some priests were just plain “nuts” but there was little that could be done since having an odd personality wasn't grounds for dismissal.  He only touched upon the topic of needless church renovations by saying he knew St. Mary's of the Annunciation had planned a few improvements like a new parking lot but for some reason they decided to redo the entire church.

On the new collaborative plan, he was aware the pastor at my former parish had spread himself too thin by not eliminating some of the Masses at all three churches.  I felt there was more to the issue than that but said nothing.  Earlier in the Q and A session, the bishop explained how there were too many churches in the Boston Archdiocese but closing many of them had caused a surprising amount of hate to be directed at Cardinal O'Malley who felt so hurt, he vowed not to close anymore churches for the time being.

A lot of thought was given to the new collaborative plan.  Was it working?  Bishop O'Connell said in order to avert a priest shortage down the road, each parish needed to supply the Archdiocese with a certain number of new priests but so far, that wasn't happening despite the emphasis on priestly vocations. 

The bishop had a lot to say about the sex abuse scandal because he was very much involved with making sure something like that never happened again.  Before 2002, there were no canon laws on how to deal with abusive priests.  He spent many years helping to change that.  Bishop O'Connell said the Church had feared scandal so much, they kept reports of abuse quiet.  However, it was like trying to hold a beach ball underwater.  The more they pushed down, the harder it became to control until everything just erupted.  He assured us the Church was in a much better position to prevent abuse and it was his hope people 100 years from now would look back on those dark times as something that was terrible but long in the past.  I silently wondered if the Church would still be around in 100 years.

Bishop O'Connell agreed with my point about aging congregations and said elderly parishioners were keeping the Church afloat since many Catholics just didn't care about their religion.  He noticed how parents would drop their kids off at CCD classes without ever going to Mass themselves.

After hearing me speak, a woman wondered what could be done to make church more appealing to young people because the enthusiasm she saw at those Steubenville Youth Conferences seemed to be short-lived.  The bishop admitted some parishes made our young people feel unwelcome  He said that back in the day CYOs often fostered fellowship.

The Q and A session wrapped up with Bishop O'Connell thanking us for a thoughtful discussion.  One of my priests praised our sincerity and candor.  The bishop gave me his card so we could continue the discussion.  As I started to leave, a handful of old people stopped to talk to me.  They appreciated my comments and some said they would pray for me.  I politely thanked them but wondered to myself why there were never any women my age at events like this.  I had certainly put myself out there.

The following week, my priest thanked me again for sharing my concerns.  The week after that, an elderly woman who had attended the Q and A session walked up to me before Mass with sad eyes and asked if I was doing alright.  Such sympathy was incredibly awkward but after church we talked some more and joked about it.  Alas, I wasn't looking for a pity party, just a helping hand.

A Talk With The Bishop: Part 1

When it was my turn to speak during the question and answer session with Bishop Mark O'Connell, I asked for the microphone and said, "I have a lot to get off my chest but I will be respectful."  I then expressed the hope that we could all be respectful to each other no matter what our concerns were.

Without having any idea how I would say everything that was on my mind, the spirit seemed to move me.  I spoke with just a couple of pauses and touched upon most of my concerns.  The bishop listened intently and only added his thoughts a few times.  There were three topics that my discussion focused on: Catholic singles, the priest sex abuse scandal, and the hierarchy.

I started off by talking about my first parish, St. John's in Beverly and how that church's interior was needlessly renovated.  Spending money in frivolous ways was a pattern seen in a lot of parishes and I mentioned St. Mary of the Annunciation in the nearby town of Danvers.  That church spent a couple of million on so-called improvements that will do very little to bring young people to Mass.

I told everyone to take a look around the room and see how few young adults were here.  Then I wondered what would happen to this church in another couple of decades adding, "Am I going to be the only one sitting in these pews?" 

As a single person with a calling to be married, I said the Church did nothing for people like me.  The focus was on priestly vocations and not much else.  I mentioned how my priests ignored me after speaking to them about my desire to form a young adult group.  Then with a little bit of rage in my voice, I added, "And now I'm not even a young adult anymore.  I'm going to be 44 years old on Monday and I have never had a girlfriend.  Weekend after weekend goes by and I find myself alone."  Touching upon my college years at a very liberal school, I said defending Catholic values has only made me an outcast.

I told the bishop that the hierarchy came across as being out of touch.  When the Archdiocese of Boston first learned of sexually abusive priests, they should have put a stop to it immediately.  Instead the cover up and scandal drove many parishioners away.  When abuse victims protested outside the Cathedral of the Holy Cross, Cardinal Sean O'Malley should have spoken with them face to face instead of turning his back.  For all the talk of transparency and zero tolerance, we are still seeing people resign in disgust from the Church's own abuse commissions.

I said the Archdiocese's new collaborative plan wasn't really working.  At my former parish, collections went down because our new pastor was more administrator than shepherd.  The earlier wave of church closures had also driven many Catholics away in anger.  Those buildings may have needed to be closed but the cardinal could have met with parishioners one on one instead of being cold and arrogant.  Whenever the Church failed to act in a Christ-like manner, it ultimately hurt the faith.

I asked how the people in the pews were supposed to evangelize an increasingly skeptical public when the Archdiocese's own arrogance undermined us.  Even most of the nuns from my high school could have been friendlier but they chose to be mean instead and that makes people like me run in the other direction.  My talk concluded with one short statement that carried a lot of weight: "I have never felt so lost."

Since my primary concern was getting out all my frustrations, I think I only looked at the bishop once or twice.  Everything seemed to flow really well with one topic merging into another.  Now I waited to hear Bishop Mark O'Connell's response.