No Such Thing As A McDonald's Priest

                                                     Source: Business Insider

Over the past several months, I've been thinking about how different the lives of priests are compared to single Catholics who seek marriage.  Both groups feel they have some inner calling that's part of God's plan, but people like me don't find much encouragement from the Church along the way.

At Mass we hear prayers for vocations to the priesthood and religious life while Catholic singles don't even get a mention.  One pastor felt encouraging priestly vocations was a top priority and he would regularly ask the men of the parish who felt “the calling” to speak to him after Mass.  If you were thinking about the priesthood, he wanted to know you.  On the other hand, if you tried talking to him about your call to be married, a wall went up.  Suddenly my very eloquent and thoughtful pastor was at a loss for words.  Did his path in life make it difficult to understand people like me?

If you want to be a priest, the Church seems to bend over backwards to help nurture that calling.  There are discernment retreats, plenty of one on one time with other priests and even a chance to meet the Cardinal.  Sermons describe choosing the priesthood or religious life as a courageous decision.  Some parishes set up prayer groups for priestly vocations while others feature profiles of individual seminarians in the weekly bulletin.  You certainly don't hear anyone question this calling.  No one warns, “Be careful for what you wish for because you could be miserable in the priesthood.”

They do say this to Catholic singles, however.  Some people offer helpful advice by suggesting it's better to be single and lonely than to be trapped in a loveless marriage.  They tell us we don't need anyone to complete us because we have Jesus.  In her blog entry entitled 7 Reasons Why It's Hard to be Single in the Church, Sarah Thebarge writes, “Singleness is not a disease, and marriage is not the cure.”  Huh?  I thought when a person has a calling in life, they should try to fulfill it.

For single Catholics, finding your way in the world can bring confusion and doubt.  When you become a priest, there is clarity.  This is what you will do for the rest of your life.  The assignments may change over the years but your vocation is being fulfilled every day.  You never have to worry about a paycheck, or a place to sleep or a purpose in life and when you retire, the archdiocese takes care of your needs.  This is not to say being a priest is easy but there are certain pressures in life they will never know.

After college, I worked in a grocery store for a few years.  The job was mindless, we had to wear dumb uniforms and customers were downright insulting at times.  The longer I stayed, the more removed from God's plan I felt.  We often hear of people putting their dreams on hold just to make ends meet.  By contrast, a priest never has to give up his vocation to work at McDonald's.

For men of the cloth, life-long celibacy represents a success but for someone who is called to be married and have kids, it represents a failure.  I don't think many priests fully appreciate this.  If someone entered the seminary but was later told he couldn't be a priest, how would he feel?  Would the burning in his heart suddenly go away?

When you have a calling, whether it's to marriage or the priesthood, anything else feels like you're on the wrong path.  While those with priestly vocations in mind have a strong support system waiting for them, singles like me are left to our own devices and told it's not the Church's “job” to offer us help.

850K Up In Smoke

Recently, I landed on the Archdiocese of Boston's Facebook page only to discover a flurry of negative comments.  Many entries referred to the $850,000 that was spent trying to defeat Question 4 which ultimately legalized marijuana in Massachusetts.  I never knew about this expenditure and couldn't help but think what an incredible waste of money it was.  Within the Archdiocese of Boston we've seen collections go down, parishes close, attendance at Mass shrink and church buildings sold off to be demolished.  Isn't it amazing how they are able to raise funds that sizable in such a short amount of time?

According to Church officials, the money came from a discretionary, unrestricted central ministry fund, not from collection baskets, the Catholic Appeal or funds designated for parish support.  The Knights of Columbus also chipped in $150,000.  Since the Catholic Church provides an array of social services and ministries, it was felt legalization would negatively impact these efforts.  Cardinal Sean O’Malley claimed marijuana was a gateway drug and he saw first hand how it destroyed lives in the inner city.  The 850K was spent so late in the game however, its impact was questionable.

Poll after poll reveals the country's attitudes on decriminalizing marijuana are changing and I think a big part of this is because people are reevaluating America's war on drugs.  Television host and travel guide Rick Steves makes some compelling arguments when he highlights how Europe has dealt with the problem of substance abuse.

Travel guide Rick Steves -  For more on his view:
 https://www.ricksteves.com/about-rick/drug-policy-reform

Even though marijuana is legal (or at least tolerated) in most European countries, the continent sees fewer drug-related deaths, less drug-related incarceration, and less drug consumption per capita than the United States.  Rick Steves explains Europe is focused on “harm reduction” rather than punishment.  Since law enforcement targets dealers instead of users, more funding is available for doctors, counselors, and clinics.  It's estimated Europeans save 15 euros in police and healthcare costs for each euro invested in drug education, addiction prevention, and counseling.

What about Cardinal O'Malley's assertion that marijuana is a gateway drug?  Many feel it's the criminalization of pot that forces young people to buy from dealers who have an economic incentive to get their customers hooked on more expensive and addictive hard drugs.  Rick Steves writes that over three times as many Americans report having tried heroin compared to the Dutch where marijuana is available in “coffee shops”.  (No one gets carded in the black market.)

The Archdiocese says numerous highly credentialed studies show legalization hurts youth and the needy and they point to recent statistics from Colorado, the first state to legalize marijuana.  Rick Steves notes statistics on drug use and abuse are all over the map because most sources have an agenda which skew their findings.  In other words, it's easy to embrace junk science.  We know that America's war on drugs has marginalized addicts, fueled a black market, drained resources and disproportionately incarcerated minorities.  I think society is wondering if it's time for a smarter, more compassionate approach.

While you expect the Archdiocese to weigh in on some moral issues like doctor-assisted suicide, spending money for defeating Question 4 seems odd.  Spokesman Terrence Donilon said of the 850K, “It reflects the fact that the Archdiocese holds the matter among its highest priorities.”  Last year, a few victims of the sex abuse scandal came forward to say the Boston Archdiocese was reneging on its promise of continued care and therapy.  Parishes continue to struggle with maintenance issues that the collection baskets no longer cover.  With all the problems facing the Catholic Church, this is what they spend money on?

As a single Catholic, I'm left to wonder why Cardinal O'Malley doesn't see people like me as a high priority.  (850K actually buys over 10,600 singles a six month membership to CatholicMatch.com.)  At one time, the Archdiocese even had an office of young adults but I guess it wasn't a high priority either.

It's bad enough so much money was thrown out the window on a lost cause.  What's worse is when the Boston Archdiocese thinks no one will be upset by it.