My church's All Saints' Day Mass was very crowded this year and when my mother and I arrived, our usual pew was already full. Sitting in the next pew was a pretty girl who I've never seen before. We motioned to sit next to her but instead of moving into the isle, she let us climb into the pew. Usually, that's a pet peeve of mine but in this case, it allowed me to sit right next to her. I've been starving for the company of a female my own age for so long, simply being in close proximity to one gave me a comforting feeling. I started to imagine what it would be like to have a girlfriend or wife. (People who are called to the priesthood probably don't have these thoughts.)
During Mass, she wasn't saying any of the prayers aloud aside from the Our Father. Red flag number one. As a life-long Catholic, I've memorized almost everything anyone says during Mass to the point where reading a missalette isn't necessary. Was she not very religious and just visiting our church for spiritual inspiration? I've noticed how some people who shun God suddenly go looking for Him during a time of need.
There was absolutely no body language coming from her to indicate any interest whatsoever. Red flag number two. Maybe she already had a boyfriend or husband. As a long-time Massachusetts resident, I think reading women in this part of the country is difficult to say the least. Most seem aloof while others appear to be creeped out by members of the opposite sex who aren't their brothers or dads. Trying to start a conversation with a random woman is like pulling teeth. Let's say you bring up a subject that might interest her. Perhaps you see she's holding a camera so you ask about her photography hobby. The responses women have given me tend to be curt which makes any further small-talk impossible. I'm sure some of these same women spend time wondering where all the “good men” are. During my many years of commuting into Boston, only once did a girl walking by ever say hi to me. More often than not, they tend to look down or look away. Most of my friends believe New England women are rather snobbish and I think this standoffish posture is the reason why.
As the Mass progressed, it was soon time for the sign of peace. Hmmm. How would that go? She turned and gave me a quick wave and that was it. Red flag number three. Ever since the Church allowed people to opt out of physical contact in order to avoid spreading germs, the sign of peace seems too informal nowadays. Some parishioners don't even bother to say, "Peace be with you."
Soon, it was time to receive the Holy Eucharist and upon returning to our pew, I noticed the girl was no longer there. After communion, she made a beeline for the door. Red flag number four. The former pastor of our church thought this was a very annoying habit so he would tell people in the bulletins and at the altar that Mass was not over until the final blessing. He wondered what was so important that people stood at the door or left altogether instead of returning to their pews. It was like walking out on a friend's birthday party right after the candles were blown out. If we couldn't give God an extra ten minutes during Mass, what did it say about His place in our lives?
As the weeks passed, I never did see that girl in church again but I expected as much. I've read many Catholic blogs written by single women, so I don't think this problem is exclusive to one gender. There probably are churches out there where lonely females have similar experiences trying to attract the attention of good Catholic men. The problem is, Catholic singles of both sexes are so scattered to the four winds, we can't seem to find each other.
One thing is for sure. The Bible wasn't kidding when it said, “A wife of noble character who can find? She is far more precious than rubies.”
