One of these YouTube channels is called Entrepreneurs in Cars and it typically features a guy driving around while he shares his opinions on the opposite sex. This particular content creator warns men against dating a “modern woman” because no amount of care or attention a guy brings to the relationship will ever be enough to satisfy her. He sometimes uses the term hypergamy when explaining how women tend to date and / or marry men of a higher social status.
He also claims women often overestimate their “sexual value” as they get older and tells men to avoid dating females who are pro-choice, have slept around, or carry a great deal of emotional baggage because these qualities run counter to a family-oriented mindset found in traditional relationships. Oddly, all of these warnings lead the host to suggest that if a guy just wants to have fun with a woman for a little while, then that's okay as long as both parties don't get too attached. I find it ironic that the host of these videos places a lot of importance on traditional values but then lets men off the hook by condoning the occasional sexual romp.
Another YouTube channel that often pops up in my sidebar is called PsycheDepth and videos from this content creator typically feature black and white cartoons of men and women while a British-accented narrator gives long lectures on the nature of romantic relationships. These are some of the most depressing videos ever with titles like: “How Women Turn Good Men Into Monsters With Contempt” “Why Does Sexual Desire in Women Die After Love” “Why Most Women Betray Loyalty Without You Seeing It” “Talking Kills Attraction” “Why You Shouldn't Try To Understand Women”. Even the thumbnails for these videos have pretty atrocious titles like: “Women Are Selfish” “You'll Never Make Her Happy” “Women Are Evil” “Why Being a Man Isn't Enough Anymore” “Her Tactics Are Deadly” “Her Words Are Poison”.
The narrator claims that no matter how kind-hearted a man is, he needs to behave a certain way to be successful at dating because a woman might say she wants a sensitive, communicative man who will treat her as an equal, but on a subconscious level, she is hardwired to be turned off by those qualities. Basically, the genetic predispositions of our ancestors make women desire a strong, confident leader and not someone who takes her feelings into account by asking, “What restaurant would you like to go to tonight?” This deep-seated lack of attraction for nice guys is supposedly why so many women wind up with jerks.
According to PsycheDepth, men need to wall off their true emotions and create a certain distance because women truly value mystery and scarcity not openness and utility. If you don't “maintain your frame” with the opposite sex, they will walk all over you because without even being aware of it, women run countless psychological tests on men and failing these mental evaluations causes a loss of interest. Apparently, men aren't entitled to be full emotional beings because that would show weakness.
One particular video makes the case that marriage itself is just a bad idea for men because they are always at a disadvantage in such a union. PsycheDepth even suggests replacing the outdated concept of marriage with a contract that's similar to a business deal where both parties' expectations are clearly spelled out and they can go their separate ways without much difficulty. I sometimes wonder if this YouTube channel is part of a secret plot to sow distrust among the sexes and destroy the American nuclear family. With more and more videos being churned out each month on this channel, a friend joked, “...or they're just trying to make money.” With such awful clickbait titles, I can believe that.
As bad as all of these videos are, the comments are much worse. Broken-hearted men describe their relationship horror stories and rejoice in being alone and unattached. One guy says women don't love you for who you are. They love you for how you make them feel. Another claims women are always on the look out for someone better. Many men lament all the effort they put into their relationships only for their significant others to get bored and leave. There seems to be a lot of hurt out there and videos like these certainly don't help to bridge the divide between the genders. In a recent poll of Gen Z men, having children and raising a family was their number one goal. For Gen Z women, that expectation came in dead last.
The advice from these content creators runs counter to how I imagined dating and relationships would be but now I'm not so sure what to believe. Thinking back to my parents marriage, they managed to avoid many of the pitfalls discussed in these videos but then again, they embraced traditional values and not modern ones. During my time on CatholicMatch, I did see a certain amount of distaste for "nice guys" and some members of the opposite sex felt the art of courting boiled down to the man having to do almost everything on a date while the woman waited to be impressed. As a sensitive male, I refuse to play these stupid games. If I'm going to be rejected, then I'll be rejected for being myself because wearing a false facade for the rest of my life is just too tiresome and not worth the trouble.
