A School In Sheep's Clothing

Bishop Fenwick High School in Peabody, MA

My freshman year at Bishop Fenwick was unremarkable for the most part because I decided to keep a low profile.  The fear of being teased was still on my radar and despite all the speeches during orientation that described Fenwick as a family; I did experience random bullying.  It mostly came down to some of the jocks throwing their weight around by picking on the meek for no apparent reason.

I made a few acquaintances during the first week of classes and when we chose a small table in the cafeteria, a group of jocks decided to commandeer it by sitting right down next to us and telling us to move on.  We felt totally humiliated and sheepishly left to find another table.  Gym class often started with a lap around the football field and I would usually come in second place.  A couple of class clowns decided to call me "Ben Johnson" who was a disgraced Olympic runner accused of using steroids at the time.  So much for earning the respect of others by giving it your all.

The majority of bullying at Bishop Fenwick tended to be more subtle than what I experienced in middle school: a quick insult, a sarcastic laugh or a demeaning look.  Then of course there was being shunned.  I first encountered this during school Masses which took place in the auditorium.  When it came time for the sign of peace, everyone around me bent over backwards to give hearty handshakes to their friends but I was virtually ignored.  Perhaps keeping a low profile had its drawbacks.

One kid who attached himself to our lunchroom group was a bit socially awkward and it really irritated a couple of my peers to the point they just wanted him to stop hanging around us.  Sometimes they would drop hints or ignore him outright.  I didn't think this was right but in my meekness; did nothing to stop it.  One day he approached me in confidence to ask if everyone in our group disliked him.  I told him the truth and said I didn't have a problem with him but a couple of the other kids did.  He decided to stop hanging around us altogether and ultimately transferred to another school the next year.  One of my friends in the group thanked me for finally getting rid of him but I felt awful inside.

Should I have sat with the shunned student and risked being shunned myself?  Were the kids in my lunchroom group worth having as friends?  If Bishop Fenwick actually lived up to the high-sounding words we heard at orientation, these questions would not have been swirling around in my mind.  I noticed a fair amount of inconsiderate behavior from my fellow students that year.

One of the worst incidents actually happened in math class between a couple of trouble-markers and our rookie teacher.  They horsed around just to get a rise out of him but the situation quickly escalated until finally, one of them put a dent in a filing cabinet.  The teacher was so upset he had a meltdown right in front of us and left the room.  A couple of nuns came in to cancel class and he never returned to the school.  We had been assigned to write him get well notes which made for one very awkward experience.

The trouble was, not everyone attended this school for the same reasons.  I wanted to deepen my faith while others sought academic excellence without the Catholic values.  A good number of students placed a high priority on sports while others desired the prestige of a private education.  A few students didn't even want to be here but their parents felt it would be a good influence on them.  Catholic schools seem all too willing to de-emphasize their core values in order to accommodate everyone.  Looking back, I'm surprised by how little scripture made it into the curriculum.  We did have a great religion teacher named Mr. Dalton but sadly, he left Bishop Fenwick for another job after the first two months of my freshman year.  Subsequent religion classes lacked a solid foundation and seemed to be more "feel good" in nature.

As my sophomore year approached, I held out hope things would improve.  There were still a lot of students I didn't know so perhaps I would fall in with peers who shared similar sensibilities.