A Mother Knows

Fr. James Nyhan

Sometimes we see a darker side in people who are universally loved and respected.  Does this mean our perspective is wrong?

My mother's first time inside Bishop Fenwick High School was when she helped me purchase books at the start of my freshman year.  We passed the chaplain, Fr. Jim Nyhan, in the hallway as he was clowning around with a male student.  I didn't think much of it but later on my mother told me to be careful of that priest because she got the impression he was a pervert.  She explained, “Look at the way he was touching that boy.”  At times I had seen Fr. Jim engage in horseplay with some students but it was mostly quick hugs or a pat on the shoulders.  My mother said, “He was rubbing the kid's stomach!”  That raised a red flag in her mind and she added, “Don't ever let him touch you like that.  If he does, come to me and I'll handle it.”  You didn't want to mess with my mother.

There weren't many interactions with Fr. Jim during my years at Bishop Fenwick.  Maybe my mother's cautionary words created some kind of distance or perhaps it was because I felt like an outcast.  Even though I wanted to deepen my Catholic faith, being bullied had made me skeptical of Fenwick's squeaky-clean image and any talk of showing your school spirit made me want to run in the other direction.

In many ways, Fr. Jim was the embodiment of school spirit.  He was a very outgoing priest who led Masses in the auditorium, taught religion class, and even drove a school bus during away games.  A scholarship was later established in his name.  If anyone had expressed misgivings about him, they would have risked criticism by going against popular sentiment.  As it turned out, however, my mother's first impression of Fr. Jim was correct.

Abuse allegations against Fr. Nyhan surfaced a few years after my graduation from Bishop Fenwick and in April of 2006, he pleaded guilty to three counts of committing a lewd act on a minor between 1979 and 1980.  Reports said he would arouse himself by getting into wrestling matches with his victims and rubbing up against them.  “I feel badly this colored my otherwise fruitful stay in Charleston,” Fr. Nyhan said much to the dismay of his victims who were expecting a more contrite apology.  The plea deal spared Fr. Jim jail time and he did not have to register as a sex offender.

It's interesting that my mother figured out in 5 seconds what many couldn't see at all.  She feels the priesthood would be a much healthier institution if priests were allowed to marry.  My mother often says Jesus chose married men to be among His disciples including Peter, the first Pope.  Also, there are a small number of married Catholic priests who converted from other denominations.  For most parents, protecting their children is not an intellectual exercise.  When the Church received the first reports of sexual abuse at the hands pedophile priests, a visceral desire for justice was lacking.  Instead, the problem was analyzed and then covered up.  Ultimately, lawyers and reporters had to drag the Church kicking and screaming into the light.  Can unmarried celibate priests truly understand the pain felt by parents of children who have been victimized?  Their slow reaction to the sex scandal tells me no.

I spoke with a friend from high school recently and he revealed a disheartening story about Fr. Jim.  Like me, this friend wanted to deepen his Catholic faith so he sought out our chaplain to discuss becoming a Eucharistic minister.  Instead of offering encouragement, Fr. Jim wondered why he wasn't satisfied in his faith and why simply going to Mass wasn't enough.  The awkward conversation threw my friend for a loop.  Needless to say, he never became a Eucharistic minister and the seeds of doubt sown by Fr. Jim that day led him to question his Catholic faith so much so that he became an atheist years later.  What really troubled this former classmate was the deceptiveness of outward appearances since some of the most “holy” in our school were insensitive behind closed doors.  While many of Fr. Nyhan's former students and parishioners were shocked by his admission of guilt in 2006, some of us weren't surprised at all.

Going against the accepted beliefs of the in-crowd usually invites isolation and after a while, you can start to question what's in your heart.  Being a black sheep doesn't necessarily mean you're wrong, though.  Sometimes it means in a climate of phoniness, you can still see the truth.