The Lost Are Still Lost

It's been a little over three months since my parish hosted a question and answer session with Regional Bishop Mark O'Connell.  I had put myself out there by discussing the struggles single Catholics face and telling everyone how lost I felt.  Sadly, nothing has changed.

The simplest action our clergy could take is to acknowledge our existence.  During the Q and A session, the bishop and some of my parish priests heard me ask why no one ever publicly prayed for people like me at Mass yet singles seeking marriage continue to be left off the lengthy list of intentions.  It makes me wonder what my priests see when they spot me sitting in the pews with my mother each week.  Can't they tell how lonely I am?

My parish does have some joyful and sincere men of the cloth but lately a typical sermon tends to boil down to this:  “Every one of us has hardships in life.  Sometimes we are sad and feel like failures but we should rejoice because Jesus loves us.”  You know what?  I need more than that.

Despite Bishop O'Connell describing my conversation as humbling, he hasn't openly addressed the plight of Catholic singles either.  His parish's weekly bulletin highlights many “nuts and bolts” topics regarding the operation of his parish.  That's to be expected but he has also touched upon some pretty trivial matters like why parishioners at St. Theresa's kneel at certain times during Mass or what the symbols on a bishop's ring stand for.  You'd think in between all of this, he could mention some of the issues we discussed.

To my surprise, Bishop O'Connell was featured in the October 10th edition of The Salem News.  The newspaper article began with a short biography but then it focused on increasing vocations to the priesthood.  The reporter asked, “So what is the archdiocese doing to persuade single Catholic men that they too can find joy in service as priests?”  I found this question to be hurtful because it failed to recognize the fact that there are single Catholics with a very different calling in life...one that DOES NOT include a vocation to the priesthood.

http://www.salemnews.com/news/local_news/bishop-reach-out-to-lapsed-catholics/article_33cf4980-656f-5f06-966e-bd61886b0a66.htm

“We're not doing enough,” Bishop O'Connell said adding that some parishes have witness talks for men contemplating the seminary and the Archdiocese itself has a full time vocations director and two assistant directors.  The article asserted, “During the last couple of decades, the archdiocese has closed numerous parishes due to the declining number of priests.”  So dwindling Mass attendance and expensive maintenance issues had nothing to do with it?

The bishop suggested each parish had a responsibility to promote priestly vocations adding, “If we could ordain 12 priests a year, we could sustain all of the parishes.”  He continued, “If every parish produced one vocation every 17 years we would be fine.”  I just could not agree with this rosy assessment.  Even if all the parishes within the Archdiocese met that quota, would these new priests be saying Mass in empty churches?

Cited in the newspaper column was a 2014 Pew Research Center study that said the number of church-going Americans dropped slightly from 2007.  I predict this decline will increase exponentially over the next ten years as more and more elderly parishioners pass away.  If the hierarchy focuses on solving the priest shortage but fails to adequately address the Church's other problems, we will not be fine.

I told Bishop O'Connell this during the Q and A session and my long talk with him at St. Theresa's but you'd never know it by reading that article.  Once again, priestly vocations are given top priority while singles who yearn for a spouse aren't even worth mentioning.  I'm left to wonder why so many priests hear but they do not listen.