In fact, most of the site's members were women in their 40s and 50s but almost all of them had kids. It made me wonder what the heck happened to the sanctity of marriage. When some of them started complaining about how lonely they were, I felt it was a bit unfair because at one time they had boyfriends or husbands to sleep with. Try walking in my shoes.
Some of them seemed very jaded. When a cooking class was pitched as a possible meet up, a woman said she wanted to go just to discover new recipes...not to meet men. With an attitude like that, why was she part of this group? In another post, one woman said she was going to spend her Saturday night at home with a good book. A few females then suggested they all get together to form a reading club. Now what kind of signal did that send the opposite sex?
I decided to ask the group if anyone wanted to go mountain bike riding on a nearby rail trail but no one took me up on the offer. This wasn't surprising because it looked like many of the people here didn't get a lot of exercise. Unfortunately, the word “single” means many different things: Never married and no kids, never married with kids, divorced with or without children and widowed with or without children. Not all of these groups have the same expectations.
After showing this Facebook page to a few acquaintances, they said I was being too picky. I told them “too picky” was refusing to go out with a woman because she had green eyes and blonde hair. There were good reasons for some of my preferences. Even if we looked beyond religious beliefs, dating someone with kids added extra pressures to a relationship right off the bat and if a woman is divorced, isn't it natural to wonder why her marriage broke apart?
One of these acquaintances thought I was being too judgmental so she asked if potential suitors had to be thin and good looking too. I told her a girlfriend who took care of herself would be nice but my definition of beauty was slightly more quirky than what society put on a pedestal. Then she wondered if I would ever date anyone outside my own religion. Keep in mind, this acquaintance was Jewish and had a husband who shared her faith. She was also very liberal so I asked her, “If you were still single, would you date a Trump supporter?” Of course she wouldn't. Did that make her close-minded?
Over the years, I've noticed proponents of tolerance try to make us feel guilty for our personal preferences. We all have attractions. Some of them aren't that important but others are deal-breakers. I'd like a girlfriend who has made similar sacrifices for her beliefs. My acquaintance thought I was looking for the impossible adding, “If a woman is in her 40s and has never had a serious relationship then you should ask yourself what's wrong with her.” Now who was being judgmental?
Some people find Catholic values so inconceivable, they have to goad anyone who embraces them toward sin. They'll tell us we should give up on celibacy and just enjoy ourselves. No one saves themselves for marriage anymore so we need to lower our standards. Divorce and broken families are just an inevitable part of life. People fall out of love all the time so it's no big deal. Advice like that reminds me of the peer pressure found on elementary school playgrounds: “Everyone else is doing it. Why aren't you?”
In this age of diversity and tolerance, there doesn't seem to be much room for devout Catholics. That's why singles like me need the Church to step up with increased fellowship and support. We certainly won't find what we're looking for in a world of lower standards.
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