Regarding the struggles of singles like me, he said there were a number of Catholic dating websites out there and perhaps I needed to take the lead on this. When he suggested trying to form my own group, I reminded him of the failed efforts at my former parish. Bishop O'Connell advised me not to give up so easily because only one priest had rejected my idea. (Actually it was three pastors in a row.) He said I might have to start visiting other parishes to find compatible Catholic singles. One of my priests who was sitting in the pews gave me a nervous smile because he didn't want to lose me as a parishioner. Then the bishop suggested we could get together in the near future to discuss this subject in greater detail.
Bishop O'Connell admitted some priests were just plain “nuts” but there was little that could be done since having an odd personality wasn't grounds for dismissal. He only touched upon the topic of needless church renovations by saying he knew St. Mary's of the Annunciation had planned a few improvements like a new parking lot but for some reason they decided to redo the entire church.
On the new collaborative plan, he was aware the pastor at my former parish had spread himself too thin by not eliminating some of the Masses at all three churches. I felt there was more to the issue than that but said nothing. Earlier in the Q and A session, the bishop explained how there were too many churches in the Boston Archdiocese but closing many of them had caused a surprising amount of hate to be directed at Cardinal O'Malley who felt so hurt, he vowed not to close anymore churches for the time being.
A lot of thought was given to the new collaborative plan. Was it working? Bishop O'Connell said in order to avert a priest shortage down the road, each parish needed to supply the Archdiocese with a certain number of new priests but so far, that wasn't happening despite the emphasis on priestly vocations.
The bishop had a lot to say about the sex abuse scandal because he was very much involved with making sure something like that never happened again. Before 2002, there were no canon laws on how to deal with abusive priests. He spent many years helping to change that. Bishop O'Connell said the Church had feared scandal so much, they kept reports of abuse quiet. However, it was like trying to hold a beach ball underwater. The more they pushed down, the harder it became to control until everything just erupted. He assured us the Church was in a much better position to prevent abuse and it was his hope people 100 years from now would look back on those dark times as something that was terrible but long in the past. I silently wondered if the Church would still be around in 100 years.
Bishop O'Connell agreed with my point about aging congregations and said elderly parishioners were keeping the Church afloat since many Catholics just didn't care about their religion. He noticed how parents would drop their kids off at CCD classes without ever going to Mass themselves.
After hearing me speak, a woman wondered what could be done to make church more appealing to young people because the enthusiasm she saw at those Steubenville Youth Conferences seemed to be short-lived. The bishop admitted some parishes made our young people feel unwelcome He said that back in the day CYOs often fostered fellowship.
The Q and A session wrapped up with Bishop O'Connell thanking us for a thoughtful discussion. One of my priests praised our sincerity and candor. The bishop gave me his card so we could continue the discussion. As I started to leave, a handful of old people stopped to talk to me. They appreciated my comments and some said they would pray for me. I politely thanked them but wondered to myself why there were never any women my age at events like this. I had certainly put myself out there.
The following week, my priest thanked me again for sharing my concerns. The week after that, an elderly woman who had attended the Q and A session walked up to me before Mass with sad eyes and asked if I was doing alright. Such sympathy was incredibly awkward but after church we talked some more and joked about it. Alas, I wasn't looking for a pity party, just a helping hand.
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